


365 Days

by Keith22



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: Bi-Polar Disorder, Childbirth, Death, Devotion/Commitment, F/M, Friendship/Love, Having Faith, Pregnancy, Sanditon/Minneapolis? No Place Like Home, True Love, fidelity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29741301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keith22/pseuds/Keith22
Summary: This is a sequel to "6 Hours".  It will be more enjoyable if you read "6 Hours" before reading this (but not necessary) as there are many subtle references made about their past. “6 Hours” gives you the perspective of how far they’ve come. Sidney and Charlotte are married but Sidney's Visa has not been approved yet for him to reside and work in the US. Sidney is flying back and forth from England to the US about every three weeks or so. Charlotte and Sidney are crazy in love and rejoicing at their fortunate lives.  All seems to be going their way but Charlotte still has a nagging feeling. That intuition proves to be true when Eliza Campion enters the scene again.  This is a tumultuous ride for these two but they've beat the odds before...
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Eliza Campion/Sidney Parker, Lord Babington/Esther Denham, Lord Babington/Sidney Parker, Mary Parker/Tom Parker (Sanditon), Mr. Crowe - Relationship
Comments: 74
Kudos: 47





	1. 'Our US Anniversary'

**Author's Note:**

> "Scripting". That's my style of writing. I write like the story is already being adapted to screen. My style is conversational and more relaxed. I include Point Of View commentary for humor and insight. Don't put too much thought into it. Just read and imagine the characters are right in the room with you; you are following along, script in hand. You are the lucky audience of one! I hope you enjoy! ~ Keith

Day #1 - December 14th  
_________________________

“Hello, my beautiful bride!”

“Sidney!” Charlotte runs from the kitchen and leaps into his arms. Per usual, Sidney picks her up off her feet and holds her tightly and laughs.

“Ohhh, Sidney! I’ve missed you, my beautiful groom!” Charlotte is giggling and with her face buried in his neck she says, “I love you sooo much, Sidney.” Sidney softly laughs and says “I love you, too. Two.” 

Sidney and Charlotte often make a joke of how often they say “I love you” to one another each day so sometimes they start counting. Sidney lets Charlotte slide down to the floor and he immediately cradles her face in his hands and just stares at her.

“What is it? Is everything alright?”

_ [I just want to look at you. I want to memorize this, Charlotte. Your green eyes. The freckles across your nose and cheeks. The red that shines through when there’s sunlight on your hair. I want to recall this. All of this. I love you Charlotte Heywood Parker. Can you see that in me? You’re my WIFE and I’m crazy about you! I can’t believe it still.] _

Charlotte looks back at him and smiles. “I’m going to do what you do, Charlotte! I can’t believe you’re mine.” Sidney strokes her cheek and asks, “Are you really here?”

“I think so!”

Charlotte giggles and smiles and wraps herself around Sidney’s torso for a snuggle. His arms wrap her up and they sigh. Silence. They don’t need to talk. This is the best and fastest way to connect with each other.  _ [I never want to lose this. I love her more than I ever thought I could love another being.]  _

“Sidney I have missed you so much.” _ [Uh! This is killing me. When is this all going to be over and we can stay together?] _

_ [When can I be done with all this and stay here?] _

“I brought you something,” Sidney says in a tease.

“You did? I happen to have something for you, too.” Charlotte runs off to the kitchen. She is wearing cut off blue jean shorts and a crop top she’s cut out of an old tshirt. Hair pinned up with tendrils falling down and no makeup.  _ [This is one of my all time favorite looks. My small town Iowa girl with the beautiful legs. That’s what I want to see. Everyday. Please. I want to be home...for good.] _

“Come with me!” Charlotte motions to Sidney and grabs a beach towel off the counter. She cocks her head in a tease to Sidney and heads out the door onto the back porch. She motions to the pool that has several globes of light floating. They appear to be candles. Beautiful, against the dusky sky.  _ [When did it get dark?] _

“Aren’t you freezing, Charlotte?”

“Nooo. Why?”

“It’s December. Iiii’m cold.”

“Sidney. December? It’s July 14th. What are you saying? Are you okay?”

“Yes. Of course I’m okay.”

“Sidney, if it were December in Minnesota you’d see snow! You know that! Or have you forgotten?” Charlotte teases.

Sidney looks around and sees the summertime setting of the back yard, pool and patio and makes eye contact with Charlotte again. “Yes. You’re right. Of course. Summer.” After a pause Sidney says, “Well, I’m feeling rather chilled. Maybe I caught something from the plane. I was thinking it was our anniversary. Our US anniversary. One year ago today we arrived in Minneapolis.”

“Sidney. You’re worrying me. It’s another 5 months before that happens. Here. Sit down. Let me get you something. Would you like anything to drink…”

“Sir. Would you like anything to drink?”

“Hmph. (Sidney startles awake.) I’m sorry…?”

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Oh. Yes. A Coke, please.” (Sidney wipes his hands over his face and runs his fingers through his hair then smiles.)

The flight attendant scoops ice into the cup, pops open the can and hands both items to Sidney. He reaches with both hands.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The flight attendant makes eye contact with her co-worker who is serving further down the aisle. She lowers her hand to her side and points to her ring finger. The other flight attendant purses her lips and tips her head to the side and mouths, “damn!”

Sidney pays no attention to the women. He’s oblivious to those kinds of things. He’s staring out the window. Charlotte would have been all over that and would be smiling a huge smile. She would have wrapped around his arm and laid her head on his shoulder.

_ [This gorgeous man is mine! Sorry girls!] _

Seems Charlotte and Sidney both are taking inventory of their blessings these days and each other is at the top of the list. If only they could get this Visa stuff finalized.  _ [I know Babs is doing the best he can but it is nerve-wracking. Like, maybe I won’t be home for good until spring time. It’s all just too long. I need to be with her. Daily. _

_ I’m going “home”. Not Sanditon. Minneapolis. Where my wife is. Wherever she is is where my home is. One of these days I will be able to come home and stay home. I’ll be able to walk out the door of the house and head to my office downtown for work. I’ll get to come home every night and spend my time with Charlotte. I’ll get to laugh at all the silly things she does. The “Charlotte moments” that lure me right in to her essence of being. That’s what I love. That’s WHEN I love. Times when she tells stories and acts things out with hand gestures and voices--a Heywood actor to the end.] _

Sidney pulls up in front of a beautifully appointed holiday house. There's electric candles in the windows. A Christmas tree twinkling in white lights in the corner and lighted garland on two visible arches. [And that's just a third of the decor.] Sidney laughs to himself.

"This is the place." [I put money on it Christmas music is playing.] Thank you. Merry Christmas to you, too. 

“Welcome Home!” Charlotte is at the door as Sidney climbs the stairs. Sidney smiles, “Yeah, thanks! It’s good to get here! I swear that trip gets longer and longer. It’s so monotonous. Ahhh, but it’s all worth it to see YOU! (Sidney drops his bags at the door and picks Charlotte up off the ground. Charlotte giggles gleefully. They share a passionate kiss mid air and Sidney lets her slide down to the floor.)

“I have missed you sooo much this time. I swear it gets harder each time. Did you hear anything from Babs by chance?” (Charlotte helps Sidney with his coat.)

“No, other than he said he was ‘working on it’. I don’t feel like I can hound him too much because he’s really doing us a favor.”

“Yes. I’m just being selfish. I want you in my life EVERYDAY!” Charlotte giggles and then motions for a snuggle and Sidney obliges. They hug and breathe deep for several minutes. “I’ve got a soup on the stove and bread to put in when we’re ready. And there’s salad if you want it. What are you up for tonight?” Charlotte asks not thinking about Sidney’s obvious answer. Sidney looks at her and raises his eyebrows. _ [Oh. How silly of me. I was thinking we could maybe watch something on Netflix.] _

  
  


Sidney looks at her and says, “I’ve traveled over 4,000 miles. You have to ask?”

_____________________________

  
  


Sidney has placed a small wrapped package on his nightstand out of Charlotte’s view. Charlotte is laying on his chest facing him. He strokes her hair and just happens to bring up, “It was one year ago today that I stepped off that plane into the arctic air. The chill took my breath away. But so did you, Charlotte. I looked at you as we were waiting for our taxi and was at a loss. You were so beautiful standing there, Charlotte. Making small talk; the steam cloud flowing as you spoke in the cold. You were so animated, filling me in on the highlights of the city. I was still wondering if I did the right thing to come after you. You were hot and cold.”

“I was?”

“Yes. But within the first 30 minutes you were singing and dancing around the kitchen and slamming me with one liners. Like, ‘safe word’. (Charlotte and Sidney both giggle at that.). Within that first 30 minutes I knew. I knew not only did I do the right thing by chasing you down I knew my destiny was to marry you and I was going to make it happen. You were always the one for me, Charlotte. I knew the first time I laid eyes on you.

“Awww, shucks. Well, I didn’t think you were too ugly either!” Charlotte snuggles into Sidney’s beaUtiful chest and giggles.

So, for our one year US anniversary I have something for you? He reaches over to the nightstand and Charlotte sits up with the sheet wrapped around her. “Sidney. I do believe you are the sweetest man I’ve ever known. And you’re mine! I’m so lucky! I don’t have anything for YOU. I didn’t even remember. I just always think of us at Christmastime.” Sidney hands over the gift and Charlotte carefully unwraps it. A hinged jewelry box is staring at her. She gingerly opens it up and inside are diamond earrings with a French clasp so they dangle.

“Oh, Sidney! These are beautiful! That’s an elaborate, EXPENSIVE gift, don’t you think?”

“It’s a very special anniversary for me, Charlotte. For US! It’s all about you. Me. And our official ‘beginning’.”

“They are so beautiful! I’m going to love wearing them. Classic. Classy. Thaaaank you, Sidney!” She plants one of her better kisses on him and smiles. 

Sidney smiles back and says, “I’ll never get tired of your ‘enchanting’ kisses Mrs. Parker. Come here…”

______________________________

  
  


Charlotte heads down to do finishing details on dinner. Sidney meanwhile leans on the edge of the bed, gets dressed and looks around.  _ [I remember my first night spent in this room. I held her hand all night during a migraine. I slept in my clothes on top of the covers—it was freezing in here! I woke up next to the woman I knew I wanted to see every morning of the rest of my life. Her silky nightgown and robe..?! Oh, I couldn’t get enough of her. STILL can’t! _

_ In that bathtub we celebrated our wedding night. Sidney starts to glaze over in tears as he remembers it. That was the most amazing experience with the one I longed for for so long. She was (is) the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I’ll never forget the details of that night. Candles, bubbles and her caress. Her touch that makes me feel how much she loves me. God, I never thought I would get to this place in my life! The thoughts I’m thinking these days? Whaaat? The tears? Me? I don’t get what’s happening but I know it’s because of her. _

_ I can’t believe how positive my life has become in the short time I’ve known her. She says it all the time but I can readily admit. I am blessed.] _

“Sidney? You coming?”

Sidney clears his throat and dabs at his eyes. He takes one sweeping look at what has become THEIR bedroom and yells down, “Sure! Just a minute.” _ [I want to remember this room. Remember this peaceful feeling. It’s one of those times when you want to take your time and place these thoughts in your brain for recall.] _

  
  


Day #9 - December 23rd

_________________________

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good. I’m good. I’m even better to deliver this news. Sidney your Visa has been approved!”

“What? Really? That is GREAT news, Daniel! I can’t believe it! FINALLY! WOW! THANK YOU! You did MIRACLES for us! Eleven months? That’s amazing!” 

“Yeah, I figured I’d bring you the best Christmas gift of the season!”

(Sidney chuckles.). “That it is! That. it. is! I can’t WAIT to tell Charlotte! She’ll be so relieved, as am I! Oh, man...I just have to soak this in. I’m an American? A true immigrant. Oh! This is just the BEST news! With that, I’m not going to make that trip back for a long while now.”

“I don’t blame you. You’ve paid your dues.”

“This is awesome! Thank you! Thank you sooo much! (Sidney pauses, deep in thought.) How are things with you and Esther? And Marcus?”

“Esther is...expecting!”

“Are you serious!?”

“Yes! We’re just starting to tell people. Due in June.”

“Well, Daniel, that is the BEST news! Talk about an amazing Christmas gift! Congratulations!”

“Why thank you. Yes, I’m pretty excited about the whole thing. Fatherhood? Can’t even fathom being a Dad but I’m looking forward to it.” 

“Ah, c’mon, you’ll do fine. You will. You’re going to be a GREAT Dad, Daniel. You’ll be a natural. Look at your own Dad. He’s solid. A great role model. Well, I can’t wait to meet this little being! <A pause in thought.> I can’t wait for those days.” 

“Ohhh, are you guys trying?”

“No. No. We just really wanted to get things settled. Be on the same continent at least!”

“Makes sense. Well, maybe sometime now, right? Wouldn’t it be ironic to have children near the same ages?”

Sidney chuckles, “Yeah. You’d have the boy. I’d have the girl and they get married one day! Something to be said for arranged marriages!”

Babs lets out his great laugh. “That’s not a half bad idea!”

“I can see it!” (Sidney is struck with a daydream image of what the grown kids would look like. He smiles a big grin.)

“Hey, what’s going on with Marcus? I’m afraid I’ve lost touch with him these past weeks with all this intercontinental travel, I don’t know where I am half the time. I feel bad about that. I do exchange texts now and then but I haven’t talked to him. I’ll try to call on Christmas.”

“Well, he’s good! We fixed him up on a blind date with one of Esther’s co-workers and they hit it off! He SMILES now! Not so melancholy. They’ve been dating about a month. Seems to be going well. We’ll have to wait and see.”

“Wouldn’t that be the ultimate irony. If we all could be newly married around the same time? Be parents together?”

“Ughhh….Marcus?”, says Babs. They both laugh. He lets out another terrific laugh.  _ [God, I miss that. The laughter. I miss THEM! This must be what people call being an “adult” and your time is no longer under your control.] Ugh! _

(Both pause to reflect on these stages _ [Charlotte would say “seasons”]  _ of life.)

“Well, Sidney. I just wanted to deliver the good news once I had confirmation.”

“Hey, thank you sooo much, man. We couldn’t have done it this quickly without your guidance and expertise!”

“My privilege, Sidney. So tell Charlotte ‘hello’ from all of us left-behinders.. Come back when you can, alright?”

“Sure. Will do.”

“Happy Holidays! Take good care.”

“All the same!”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

  
  


“Oh, my God! This is the best Christmas gift ever! Can’t wait to share this with Charlotte!”

___________________________

  
  


“Dinner was delicious as always.”

“Why, thank you, sir. What else would you like? We’ve got ice cream.”

“Actually, what I want is for you to come sit with me.”

Charlotte looks quizatively at Sidney and sits down in the armchair. Sidney is on the couch. “No, I need you here. Beside me.” He pats the space beside him.

“Oh, okay…?”

Charlotte sits obediently down next to Sidney and he takes her hands. “Charlotte, you have been my greatest gift. You have helped me more than you could ever possibly imagine.” 

[What’s going on here…? Something serious? He only takes my hands when he wants to tell me something important.” Oh, God…]

“There’s another greater gift for both of us.”

Charlotte is searching his eyes for a clue and Sidney responds with a sweet, sincere smile.

“Charlotte, my Visa is approved!”

“What? It is? Seriously?”

Sidney nods yes and observes Charlotte’s face.

_ [Money on it she cries.] _

“Really?” 

Sidney nods again as Charlotte starts to tear up.  _ [Awwww, THANK you for that, Mrs. P!] _

“Oh, Sidney!” Charlotte wraps herself around Sidney and starts to cry. Sidney strokes her back and holds her closely for some time. She takes a breath and leans back. She wipes her tears. She smiles and says, “Merry Christmas, Sidney.”

Sidney looks at her and sweetly says, “Merry Christmas, Charlotte!”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. 'A Charlotte Kind Of Christmas'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney has already shared one magical Christmas with Charlotte and is happy to be a part of another year's traditions. There's so much he's loving about his new bride; she's just simply magnetic. He can't get enough of her. She's so joyous about this holiday and Sidney wants to be a part of that joy. Sidney's most favorite tradition is picking the song for dancing at the bridge. He scored again. These two are sooo sweeet!

Day #10 - Christmas Eve 

____________________________

  
  


Charlotte is up early. It’s Christmas Eve and she’s ready to start the traditional festivities. She decides to go wake up Sidney personally. [Hmmm? What better way to start my day?] <giggle>

Charlotte taps Sidney on the shoulder as he’s laying on his side.

“Sidney. It’s time to get up. Happy Christmas Eve Day!”

Sidney takes the pillow out from under his head and folds it over his head.

“Sidney! That’s not very nice! You know I love Christmas!” There’s a grunt from under the pillow.

“I watch your rugby! Not my fave but I do it for YOU!”

A second grunt with a yawn comes out from under the pillow.

“Please don’t Grinch my Christmas.”

The pillow comes flying off and Sidney sits up. “Oh, sure. Compare me to the green guy! I will say my heart has already grown 10 sizes too big, thanks to YOU!” He smiles a huge Sidney grin and quickly reaches out for Charlotte. Charlotte dodges and backs up, giggling.

“Get dresssed. You can’t touch me until you’re dressed. We can’t be in bed all day today. (Charlotte giggles). You. (Sidney points to his own chest.) Yes. I’m talking to you. Outta bed!” Sidney sits there for a moment as if defeated then lunges at Charlotte. She was one step ahead (when is she NOT?) and jumps out of the way and runs down the hallway, giggling.

“Awww, c’mon,” Sidney practically begs and Charlotte races to the top of the steps.

“No! It’s time to get going. Christmas awaits and I like Christmas more than YOU!” (She laughs loudly so Sidney can hear her. A joke of course as Charlotte considers what she said and descends the steps.)

Sidney mumbles, “I can believe that.”

After hearing the shower turn off Charlotte yells up the stairwell and starts a conversation, “I A-DOOORE you, you know. You sex-starved Brit.”

“Damn well better! I flew across an ocean for you! MA-NY times!” Sidney yells back down the stairwell.

“It’s Christmas, Sidney! You know what that means! We have a lot to enjoy! I’ll make it up to you later.”

“I’m holding you TO that, Charlotte Parker!”

“That’s fine. It will be myyyyy pleasure!”

Upon hearing that Sidney breaks out in a huge smile as he pulls on his sweater. [I. love. her. More than I’m willing to admit for fear of something happening. Like losing all this somehow. I’m going to hold on to this as long as I can.]

“Parker! WHAT’S taking you so long?”

_______________________________

  
  


The day proceeds with the usual traditions. Charlotte makes chili and tries her hand at peanut brittle this year. Her mom always made the candy and Charlotte did the baking—a good team! This time she thought she’d try it. For obvious sentimental reasons. [Be happy, Charlotte. Don’t make this a sad thing.] 

In the down time Sidney watches rerun rugby, naps with Weasley and Charlotte preps for Christmas morning’s breakfast. Sidney wakes and starts mixing cocktails and makes fun of Charlotte’s never-ending Christmas music. [I hum this shit (can’t ever say that in front of Charlotte) in my sleep! Can’t wait to hear something new. ANYTHING else!] Soon the sun starts setting and it’s time for them to put the candles on the bridge.

[I really can’t believe I’m part of such a cool tradition. This is what I mean about things are starting to go my way and are more positive than ever before. When would something like this ever happen in my life if it weren’t for her? I can answer that. Never. No one I know leads as much with her heart and then follows thru. This is going to be awesome to continue each year. Leave it to Charlotte to come up with this. Such a gift to the neighborhood, too. Charlotte says this is a spiritual exercise for her. I can see she’s deep in prayer over there.]

All 60 candles are in their respective spots and Sidney goes to Charlotte with a big hug. They lean against a wall of the bridge and snuggle. Charlotte holds on extra tight. [Just one year later, 365 days, I have my husband, my dream job and my family and friends. Life is full and meaningful. God, I am sooo grateful for your blessings.]

[One year ago I fell more in love with her. I didn’t even think that was possible. Nine days later we married! It was such a whirlwind, landing in her Christmas wonder world. I can hardly believe I get to say this but she’s everything. Everything I dreamed of, hoped for and more. So much more! How did I get so lucky? After all the mistakes I’ve made, she was there in the end to pick me up and point me in a new direction. How can you begin to thank someone for that?]

“Well, let’s go get something to eat and hang out until church. I’ll challenge you to chess again!? I’m determined to win at least one game this year.” (She pokes Sidney in the stomach.)

“Charlotte, you don’t really think you’re getting out of here without a dance, do you?”

“Charlotte starts to giggle like a school girl. (She puts her hands up to her mouth.) Do you have a song for us, Sidney? Really?”

“Of COURSE I do!” 

Sidney makes a few keystrokes on his phone and up comes “At Last” performed by Etta James.

“Mrs. Parker. May I have this dance?” Sidney stretches out his arm and she takes his hand.

  
  


At last

My love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

Oh, yeah, yeah, at last

The skies above are blue

My heart is wrapped up in clover

The night I looked at you

And I found a dream that I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own

A found a thrill to press my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known

Oh yeah, yeah, you smiled, you smiled

Oh and then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine... at last

The song ends in a passionate kiss. One can only guess at what the other is thinking. Charlotte is the first to speak (of course), “I didn’t cry! I did good!” and they both start to laugh.

___________________________

  
  


[Even Iiii think this is cool. Look how happy people are to be here. How they smile at one another as they share the flame and light each other’s candle. Again, this would NEVER happen in my world if i was in Sanditon. I’ve never even cared about Christmas, really, since I was a kid. Back then we were required to go to service but as we grew my parents left it to us to decide. Aaaaand I didn’t go. Imagine. Tom, Diana and Arthur DID! No surprise there!]

Charlotte smiles at Sidney and holds his hand. [She’s beautiful in this light. Wow.]

[Oh, my God! That gorgeous man is my husband! Beautiful inside and out. Now when does THAT ever happen? Sincerely—when did a guy like that ever even LOOK at me in the past? (Like, NEVER!) This is a dream, right?!]

Sidney and Charlotte bow their head for the closing prayer. Each sneaks in a prayer of gratitude.

[I don’t know what I did to deserve this change in my life but I thank you. Thank you for her.]

[I know. I have been blessed. Thank you for answering my prayers.]

The two look at each other and stare for a bit. [Ahhh! He’s MINE? I can hardly believe this past year. What an amaaazing 365 days!]

They each blow out the other’s candle and stare again. It takes a split second before Charlotte leaps at Sidney and gives him a big hug. Sidney? Laughs.

___________________________________

  
  


Charlotte hands Sidney his hot chocolate and sits down beside him in front of the fire. Charlotte tips her head onto his shoulder and watches the flames. The two turn and look at each other and smile. They exchange a kiss.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Three. I didn’t count earlier today.” [Sidney smiles]

Charlotte exhales as she goes through her mental checklist. She’s feeling good about things even though there’s more to do tomorrow. [I’m done and “done”! Except for food prep tomorrow. That feels good. Why do I feel like I’m forgetting something?]

[Look at her. Fireplace light. Wow. Just beautiful]. “What are you thinking, Charlotte?”

“I’m going to turn that on you. What do you THINK I’m thinking?” she giggles.

“You’re thinking, how am I going to make it up to him like I promised this morning?” he laughs.

Charlotte turns to Sidney and giggles. “Really? You think THAT’S what I’m thinking?”

Sidney nods an emphatic yes.

“Really?”

Sidney nods yes again. “Hmm-hmm. Because you said it would be ‘myyyy pleasure’. Right? Or something like that.”

They both giggle.

“Wellll, it’s even BETTER!”

“What?” Sidney now turns to Charlotte. “C’mon, how could it get any better than that?”

Charlotte makes direct eye contact with Sidney and takes a deep breath. [This is going to blow him away. Money on it he’ll at least get tears in his eyes.]

Sidney looks intently at Charlotte and she raises her eyes to meet his. “I want to start our family. How about you? Would you want to make a baby with me, Sidney?” Charlotte smiles sweetly to Sidney and watches intently for his response.

Sidney leans back. Looks at her with wonder. “What? Really? Whu whaaat are you saying, exactly?”

“I mean I want to have a baby. I want you to be my baby’s father. I’m hoping you’ll say yes...exactly,” Charlotte smiles a sweet smile.

Sidney just sits there. Dumbfounded. Charlotte waits patiently.

Sidney starts to glaze over with tears. [Awww, thank you for that, Mr. P!]. Charlotte puts a hand on his cheek and leans in with a kiss. Sidney is still sitting in bewilderment and hardly reciprocates the kiss. (Charlotte giggles)

“Are you ready, Charlotte? I mean REALLY ready?

“YES! Now that you get to stay home with me! YES!! Like I’ve said before, I’m not sure how long this will take. It could take a while and I’d like to be pregnant by the end of the year. Hopefully it doesn’t take that long. Are YOU ready? We don’t need to start this if you’re not.”

“ I’ve BEEN ready, Charlotte! I shook hands, looked in your eyes and saw my children. (Sidney stutters and corrects himself.) OUR children. TWO actually! A blond and a brunette.” (He laughs nervously.)

Charlotte smiles and softly giggles. [That’s what I’ve seen in the past, too. Two. With dark eyes.] “Well then!”

“Well then,” Sidney responds.

“Yes?” (Charlotte is searching his eyes and face for expression.

“Helll yeah!” [AbsoLUTELly, Charlotte! Can’t believe you even ask!] They both share a big belly laugh. 

Sidney leans in for a kiss and delivers one of his best. Charlotte can’t help herself and let’s the moment get ahold of her. Things easily progress. Sidney pulls his sweater off over his head. It takes Charlotte a moment. [Puhlease...that’s like a flippin’ scene from a soap opera or somethin’, right there. Shiiit!!] He unzips Charlotte’s new sweater and she has second thoughts. (To be fair. She has other plans.) “Here?”

“Yes. Why not? Isn’t the fire amazing? That will keep you warm.” [It was amazing here last time. What gives?] Sidney reaches for the Christmas (of course) blanket off the couch. “Iiii will keep you warm.” He smiles a devilish grin and continues to kiss her. 

“But I have Christmas Eve jammies for us.”

Sidney sits back on his legs with his hands on his knees.“Oh, dear GOD, Charlotte! Please don’t talk to me about Christmas pajamas right now.” (Charlotte looks bashfully at him and smiles.) Sidney, at this point ignores her and pulls her toward him while on her knees in order to reach her better. He starts kissing her neck and decollete.

Charlotte dodges him a bit and then softly pushes him back. She lowers back onto her legs.

“Please, can we open our gifts?”

Sidney takes a big breath to slow down and hold back. He makes eye contact with Charlotte. “Awww, c’mon, Charlotte. We don’t NEED pajamas. Can I say ‘no’ this once? Seriously? I can’t believe you’re thinking about that right now.”

“I am serious. And I’ll keep thinking about it. I looked for something that WASN’T flannel pajamas! Please, Sidney.” (She looks out the top of her eyes at him.)

[Shit! She’s serious! What. The. F**K???? Literally! This woman is going to bury me early! <Pause> And I’m only HALF kidding!]. Sidney breathes a sigh of exasperation and throws his hands up. “Okay. OKAY! Let’s see these pajamas!

“Tell you what...let’s take our packages upstairs. We can open them there. You’re right, Sidney. You’re right. (She softly places a hand on his chest.). It’s not important overall. I get that.” 

[Shit, Charlotte. Do you hear yourself?]

Sidney just looks at her in disbelief. “OOOkay. Leeettt’s see these pajamas.” (Sarcastically) He stands up and sighs again then reaches out his hand for Charlotte to help her up. Grumbling he says, “At least we’ll be right there when we DON’T put them on!” Sidney gently spanks Charlotte’s butt as she heads up the stairs ahead of him. Charlotte giggles.

“This better be a negligee. If it’s a negligee I might give you a break,” Sidney mumbles under his breath. Charlotte bites her lip in order not to laugh.

Charlotte crawls up on the bed and sits cross-legged. Sidney sits on the edge of the bed—with an attitude.

Charlotte hands over Sidney’s gift and he takes it—with an attitude! [Okay. Okay. She’s the center of my world and I love her very much but this s**t bugs THE s**t out of me! How can she compartmentalize like that? One of these times I’m going to have to say ‘no’ to those green eyes and freckles. Christmas stuff! Ugh, I’m such a sucker!]

Sidney rips the paper and opens the box. Empty. “They had your size in naked this year. Thought I’d box it up for you,” Charlotte says with a huge little shit grin and a wink. 

Sidney looks at her and shares a sarcastic grin. “Humph. Thank you.” [You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?]

[You’ll get it. Just wait. Grumpy.] “Well, and what is this?? It has my name on it? I promise it’s not flannel pajamas, Sidney.”

“It’s a negligee, right?” Sidney mumbles as he straightens up and crosses his arms.

“Hmph,” Sidney grumbles.

[Someone is DOUBLE grumpy. TOO much testosterone! Geesh!]

Charlotte opens her box and it’s EMPTY, too! “Empty! Oh, but what’s this?” She smiles at Sidney. It’s a folded piece of paper that says “Sidney” on it. Charlotte giggles and holds out the box for Sidney and says, “It’s for you.” She just smiiiiiles!

“What is this?” Sidney uncrosses his arms and reaches for the note.

“I’m not sure, the elves must have left you a message or something. I don’t know…?”

Sidney looks at Charlotte and opens it up to read it. He smiles. Maybe a little embarrassed for his behavior.

“What does it say?”

Sidney smiles at Charlotte and reads the note.“Thank you for saying yes!” Charlotte reaches for his hand and sweetly smiles.

Sidney puts his other hand on top of hers and says, with sincere love for her, “You’re welcome,” and kisses her hand.

One look speaks a thousand words.

“I guess you aren’t compleeetely nuts like I’ve thought all along.” He teasingly laughs.

“I had a plan, you know. It kind of took a detour there for a minute. That was my fault. Sorry! Forgive me, Sidney. <pause> Hey, I’m not THAT crazy, you know.”

Sidney smirks. [No comment.]

“Mrs. Parker you have waaay too many clothes on. Your pajamas are calling.” (Charlotte smiles and giggles as Sidney crawls across the bed to her.)

“Do you like our jammies this year, Sidney?” <soft giggle>

“I will. Just a minute longer.”

“I love you, Sidney. Sooo much!” (She reaches out her hand, runs her fingers through his hair and pulls him toward her.)

Sidney is now above her and inches from her face. He gives a sweet Eskimo kiss. “I love you, Charlotte—my in-saaane Christmas elf!. Four.”

A few moments later Charlotte sits up. “Oh! I forgot to check on the bridge!”

Sidney lovingly but firmly pushes her back down with a smile and says, “No!” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. 'The Yurt'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney and Charlotte are so excited at the prospects of starting a family. No one more so than Sidney. (God bless him! Like a teenager at prom!) He's trying to make everything exciting and new and memorable. He wants to be able to look back on these days as "the beginning" of the "them" chapter. He has a lot to learn about Minnesota winter!

Day #20 - January 3rd

***********************

“Charlotte, I have a surprise for us. Pack your warmest clothes and be ready to leave in an hour.” Sidney has already packed the car with candles, wine, fruits, breads and cheeses. And some tea.

_  
Tonight is going to be “the” night. Charlotte has been tracking her period and ovulation and has MORE than hinted that her time is here. Little did I know I’d get this opportunity for us and what a memorable place to conceive a child. I’ve got 5 days or so to make this happen and I’m going to LOVE it! I always do but I’m going to reeeally enjoy the process, knowing the ultimate goal. The thought of creating a human being is...amazing. Hard to fathom. Without question, a miracle. I’d like nothing more than to have a child with Charlotte. Hell, I’ve been dreaming about it from the day I met her.  
_

_ I put my name on a cancel list for one of the yurts they have here in the state parks. I did that on a whim. I was told I may not even get in this season. Seriously, is this serendipitous or what? _

_ Okay. Here’s Charlotte’s in her turtleneck, thermal shirt and warmest fisherman knit sweater; boots with thick socks. Jeans with fleece-lined leggings underneath. Hat, parka, scarf and mittens; that’s my girl! Funny enough, all I can think about is stripping off one piece of clothing at a time! She’d say, “Sid-ney!” and slap my arm. _

“Hey, there she is! You’re looking pretty Minnesotan there, Mrs. Parker.” Sidney stands and admires this woman who is half young girl that fills his heart with so much love.  _ [I’m so excited. She has NOOOO idea of what I’ve done. I can’t wait to see her face!] _

“So, where are we going, Sidney? Do you even know where you’re going?”

“Well, it is almost 2 hours out of the cities.”

“TWO HOURS! What?? Two hour trip in January? Obviously you’re a transplant! We don’t make those trips unless we have a 4 wheel drive SUV or pick up truck with a shotgun hanging in the rear window.”

“Whaaaat? What are you talking about?”

“You just don’t go driving across the arctic tundra in January unless you’re prepared and absolutely have to be somewhere. Especially on days like today when you have single digit high temps.”

Charlotte giggles and watches for a typical Minnesota truck to go by. “There! See that one! The gun is so they can kill and eat their dinner if they get stranded.” She giggles and looks over at Sidney as he drives behind the truck. “See, you’re just not equipped in this tiny RAV! Plus, I left my shotgun at home.” 

[Oh, that’s right. My wife owns 2 shotguns and a pistol. Should I be concerned about that?] “You’re just trying to freak me out Charlotte. Are we in trouble, like we could get stranded or something?”

“I don’t know. Did you look at a forecast?” Charlotte is loving this freak out the transplant game! It’s been done many a time or two to her. Minnesota has some of the best snow removal there is. She has no worries. Just don’t be dumb about the cold.

Well, many topics, laughs and much teasing later Sidney pulls into Glendalough State Park (Battle Lake, MN) He picks up a key at the lock box and drives on down the path. He stops, gets out and so does Charlotte. He points in the distance where their yurt stands with smoke coming out of the smoke stack.

“WHAAAAT! Are you kidding me! This is for us!” (She’s jumping up and down with excitement.) She runs around the front of the car, through snow, to reach Sidney and throws her arms around his neck. “Ohhhh, THANK YOU, Sidney! How special! You are such a sweet man! I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you!“ She kisses both his cheeks and Sidney laughs.

“Uhhh...I’m pretty sure I love you more,” Sidney says as he gently hugs her. He breathes deep. Her perfume is intoxicating.

Sidney wraps both arms around her waist and squeezes tightly. She laughs at that. She stands before him and puts both hands on the side of his face and gives him a Sanditon kiss.

“Ohhhh, you’re going to need to follow through on that.”

Charlotte giggles. “Myyyy pleasure! Let’s unload the car. Please tell me you brought an extra blanket or two.”

“Uhhh, no. Was I supposed to?”

“Oh, Sidney...you brought bedding and things with you didn’t you?”

“Was I supposed to?”

With that Charlotte starts laughing and can barely speak. “Sidney! It’s just a yurt! They don’t supply anything else! Wood for your stove. That’s it! It’s like a glorified tent!

“Charlotte, stop teasing me about this Minnesota stuff. That wouldn’t be funny.”

“Sidney, I am not joking! C’mon. Let’s go see the inside.”

Charlotte and Sidney walk in and are just mesmerized. It’s all curved walls, a vaulted ceiling and a sweet wood burning fireplace. It is beautiful and romantic. (And f’ing freeezing!)

There’s a mattress pad on the bed but nothing else.

Charlotte starts bubbling up and breaks into a huUUUge belly laugh! There are tears floowwing down her cheeks. She takes both hands and covers her face so Sidney can’t see how she’s losing it.

“Ohhh, shit! I didn’t bring anything Charlotte.”

(Charlotte has to go at it a couple times before she can speak.) “Well, I have one of those survival blankets in my kit, in my car. One of those silver ones, you know. It’s not double sized. Just for one.” She can’t help it. She takes one look at Sidney and just doubles over.

“What are we going to do?”

“Well, we’ll get the blanket out of my car. Pull the mattress down by the fireplace and wear our clothes!!” Charlotte takes off laughing again!

Charlotte looks over to Sidney. “I’m sorry.” She puts her stop hand up a couple times before she can actually speak.

She goes to him and wraps her arms around his neck and starts kissing his neck and playing with the curls on the back of his neck. “We’ll make it work, Sidney. Take that look off your face. Look at me.”

Sidney takes a big breath and sighs. He makes eye contact with Charlotte. “It’s times like these that make me love you more. You KNOW I do stuff like this all the time.” 

He tips his head and says, “That’s true.” A big smile comes across his face. 

“Join the club, Parker! This is a GREAT initiation!” Charlotte giggles

Sidney wraps around her waist and pulls her in tight. “I love you Mrs. Parker. Charlotte. So much.” They stare at each other a moment.

“I bet I love you a whole lot more, Sidney.” Charlotte sweetly smiles.

Charlotte swats his butt. “Now, go get that blanket. Once the sun sets we’ll easily lose 20 degrees. We’ll be sub zero tonight.”

Sidney turns around to see if she was teasing. “Truly. You live here you gotta learn to look at the forecast! Now go get it and bring in a TON of firewood so you don’t have to go out in the cold in the night.” Charlotte just laauuuughs all over again. “We’ll make it work! It’s an adventure! Think of the story we’ll have to tell!

There’s something to be said for breaking out of the usual location when making love. It’s like the body feels new and undiscovered; far more sensual and sensitive to touch. Charlotte and Sidney were entranced with one another like never before. They also were COLDER than ever before!

“Okay, I’m cold and hungry and that’s not a good combination.”

_ [Really, Charlotte? You’re kidding, right? NOT!] _

“Sidney, I’ve got to at least wear my leggings and turtleneck for now.” (Charlotte has her sweater thrown on top of her torso. She lays on her belly.)

“Sure! That’s fine. Although I DO like seeing your body COLD, I must admit.”

Charlotte slaps Sidney’s arm, “STOPPP! The prude in me cannot handle that visual. Thanks for that, Sidney! 

_ [It’s true! I mean, come on now…] _

What did you bring for us to eat?”

“Wine, cheese, fruit, bread…wine.”

Maybe I can get drunk and warm up a bit…?

_ [Kinda what I was thinkin’.] _

Did you bring water?  _ [Stupid question, Charlotte! Of course not! Thank God I carry some in my car. Frozen by now but no biggy. Easy enough to thaw.] _

No. I thought there’d be a sink.

If you’ll notice. There’s NO plumbing. You have to go to the bathroom at the outhouse at the top of the hill…!

_ [The look on his face is priiiceless. I made no promises not to laugh anymore.]  _ Charlotte LOOOSES it once again! This time there was a swat on her fanny.

“Hmmm, now. That feels good. Sidney starts to squeeze and massage her tush.”

“No. No. (She bats at him.) Now stop that! I have to eat.” (He continues and is enjoying it. Laughing away.) “You don’t want me ‘hangry’, Sidney.”

Abrupt halt. “THIS is true.”

  
  



	4. 'Mission Possible'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two have been through so much and all they want to do now is pick up their lives and move forward as a couple. They're not only a couple but are soon to become a family. (Sidney has accomplished his mission! Despite a rough start! Ha!) The most macho of men become all heart when they hear they're going to be a father. This is a good look on Sidney...

_ I think this is every man’s dream; making love to the woman you love in multiple ways and multiple days. I’m trying to come up with some memorable settings aaand, techniques? I want to at least make things interesting... _

_ Charlotte is singing her usual songs while she’s taking a shower...The “Star Spangled Banner”; a favorite song from some movie and then she has a set of Motown songs. It’s a glass door so it’s hard to surprise her. I decided to announce myself with one of her most favorite and sentimental Motown songs that she will sing eventually--the song I played for her on the plane. This is my moment. She’s rinsing her hair and it’s over her face. _

A few strokes on the phone and Sidney pulls up “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” by The Temptations. Charlotte flips her hair back off her face just in time to see Sidney come into the shower.

“What??” (Charlotte is surprised and laughing.) “No way!” (Shocked and giggling) “You’re crazy!” 

_ [Yes, I am!] _

She starts giggling like a school girl. _ [This is a first for me. Wow!] _

_ “‘ _ Oh my God...I’ll give you 5 years to stop that!” [Who said that?]

  
  


Along with all this FUN there’s a serious piece to deal with. Charlotte has done her research and spoken with her Doctor and she advises Charlotte to not take her lithium during her first trimester. What that means is Charlotte is vulnerable to hypomanic episodes which in turn throws her down to deep(er) depression--often. Up and down. Up and down. And she’s also dealing with pregnancy hormones. She currently takes a mood stabilizer (also used to prevent seizures in epileptics) and an antidepressant, that’s a class A-rated drug for pregnancy. The Lithium, she has said frequently, is the drug that helps her the most. (She says she can tell the difference within 48 hours.)

This could be a difficult road but Charlotte insists on doing everything right. She started taking prenatal vitamins months ago.  _ [How did I miss that?] _

_ [Hunh...she’s had this plan all along. How did she know my Visa would be approved right about now?] _

Sidney recalls Babs saying, “Oh, are you guys trying? And Charlotte says immediately when he arrives, “Have you heard from Babs?”  _ [She’s been working this behind the scenes for months!] _

R4 _ [She actually stopped taking her Lithium a week after I arrived. That explains some things...” _

  
  
  


Another day Charlotte has some things to pick up from work and Sidney wants to come along with her and see the University. See her office. Lock her office. Clear her desktop. Charlotte is laughing (almost) the entire time!  _ [I must say, I’m lovin’ this!!] _ (Who said that?)

  
  


"Sidney, please don’t get your hopes up. This is only the first time. This could be quite a long haul. Truly, I’m not expecting things to happen for several months."

"Oh, I know! And I’m going to enjoy every minute of this! Putting together some thoughts about it right now." (His index finger taps his temple and he lifts and flirts with his eyebrows. Very much looking like a little devil child.) 

“It’s allll good. I win either way.” Sidney winks and puts his feet up on the coffee table and turns on his ol’ “Bonanza”. 

“Episode #238! Joining me Weasley?" Sidney pats on the couch for him to rest. The red-haired feline is happy to oblige. _ [Yup! Feelin’ kinda proud of myself right about now.] _

_ [That just isn’t right. Ugh! Why do guys do that kind of thing? I mean, really? He thinks he’s doing this all on his own...!] _

  
  


A week later Charlotte was putting her hair back into a ponytail and put the ponytail binder into her mouth to hold it until she catches all her hair up. The rubberband in her mouth made her gag. That was the first clue but she didn’t catch it. _ [That’s weird…?] _ Charlotte didn’t think too much of it and carried on.

Another week later Charlotte was experiencing one of her symptoms she had with her other pregnancy--her breasts were very sore to the touch. She was starting to get her hopes up!  _ [Could I possibly conceive the first time around? That would be incredibly lucky!] _

Then another week...Charlotte missed her period. Now she is filled with hope and joy. She knows from her first pregnancy that her pregnancy tests don’t change or register a result until after 7-8 weeks for some reason. So for now, she’s going to wait before she tells Sidney.

_ [Valentine’s Day is coming up! I wonder if I can keep this a secret that long.] _ Charlotte is plagued by morning sickness 24/7 and constantly feels like she’s going to vomit. A couple times Charlotte has had to run to the next floor’s bathroom and try and cover up the sound of her vomiting. Her breasts are still very painful and rapidly enlarging which is getting hard to hide/keep from Sidney.  _ [Imagine that?] _

_ [Ugh! One more week and I can tell him. I’m excited to see the results myself! I swear, I could sleep 30 hours a day and not feel rested.] _

  
  


Day #62 - Valentine’s Day

______________________________

“So what is it you have for me, Mr. Parker?” Sidney hands Charlotte her card which is sweet and simple. Front of the card: “I love you”. Inside of card: “A lot”. “Well, that’s adorable! So what is this?” She opens the envelope. Sidney has given her a 90-minute massage.

“Oh, you read my mind, Sidney! Thank you! I have been so sore and achy lately. This will be great! Thaaank you!” (Charlotte and Sidney exchange a quick kiss.) 

_ [Achiness. I had that before as well. My lower back is killing me.] _

“I have something for YOU, of course. Open it.”

Charlotte is absolutely holding her breath waiting for Sidney’s reaction. It’s a pregnancy test.

“Is this what it says it is?”

Charlotte nods yes.

“Really?”

Charlotte nods yes again and he envelopes her in a hug. No words. He’s speechless. He’s squeezing her very tight and rocking her back and forth. He lets go of her and kisses her deeply and passionately. Charlotte giggles with delight. [Oh, I love this man. So much!]

“So, what do we do with this?”

“Come with me. I pee on this thing, wait 10 minutes and see what the test says. Yes or no?

“That easy?”

“Yes. That easy.”

“You mean in 15 minutes I will know if I’m going to be a father.”

“Yes, Sidney. That’s what it means. Are you ready?”

“Absolutely!”

Charlotte lays the stick on the kitchen counter and she and Sidney look at one another and exchange anxious smiles. When the timer goes off they just naturally both peer over the top at the same time and smiles take over.

“It says ‘yes’! It says ‘yes’! Oh, my God, Charlotte!” Sidney hugs her tight and says in her ear, “thank you, thank you” like he did when she accepted his proposal. Oh, I love you! I love you soooo much! Sidney releases his hug and sees Charlotte standing there. Crying. 

Are you okay? (Charlotte nods ‘yes’.) 

Are you happy about this? (Charlotte nods ‘yes’ again.) 

Well then what’s wrong?

“I’m scared.” and she breaks down sobbing.

Sidney steps in with one of his infamous bear hugs and makes the world go away. “Shhhh. Charlotte. Oh, my love. It will be alright.” Sidney can hear her crying and feels her shaking. “This is a whole new pregnancy. It’s different. Nothing bad will happen.” Charlotte wraps her arms tightly around Sidney’s torso. He strokes hair and says softly, “The baby will be safe. Please don’t cry.”

They go into snuggle position and Charlotte continues to cry. They embrace for several minutes. Charlotte gets to that sucking in air and then shiver stage that comes at the end when you’ve been crying so hard. He looks at her again, kisses her forehead and pulls her in again. ”This will be great!”

“Says he who doesn’t blow up like a balloon.” They look at each other and laugh. Charlotte is wiping her tears (which are now all over her face) and laughing softly as Sidney quips about how he foresees her as a pregnant woman. They take one gentle moment, holds hands and stare. This is another one of those times where they just look at one another and can’t believe they’re together! After ALL they've been through. There’s the realization that they’re making these “adult” decisions together and are moving ahead in a life TOGETHER; as a married couple and now as parents! [Pinch me!]

In her ear, “I love you, so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you. That’s how I know God wouldn’t let anything happen. (He makes eye contact with Charlotte.) Listen to me! I’m talking about God, Charlotte! [What the hell, Sidney? That stuff is really sneaking up on you, isn’t it?!] That's crazy! I can't believe I'm even saying those things but after all we've been through? I have to give on this. There's Divine intervention or something going on here. I do believe he watches over us and he definitely watches over YOU. You have him under ‘favorites’ on your phone contacts, right?! (They both snicker.)

Charlotte giggles and smiles and looks up at Sidney. She’s wiping her tears. “I’m so grateful to have found you and I’m so HAPPY we are going to have a baby together. (She appears bashful. She looks down and laughs.) That ‘busy-ness “ paid of I guess. This has been just a cuh-raaaa-zy year, don’t you think?”

Sidney gives her a tight squeeze. “I really expect nothing less.” They both gently laugh.

  
  



	5. "Whoosh-Whoosh"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are progressing right along for these two. A bit of morning sickness is no big deal since Charlotte and Sidney are hearing the heartbeat of their baby today. We’re at day #92 of our 365 Days and counting. Both are taking stock of how lucky/blessed they are and how well life is going. How long does this last?

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. This just sucks." (Charlotte vomits again.)

"Charlotte, can I come in."

"Yes. Do you want to?"

"Sidney steps in and holds Charlotte’s hair just in time for her to vomit again."

"Thank you. You are so sweet, Sidney."

"Are you crying?"

"No. I just tear up when this happens." (I forget. He’s never seen me sick.)

"Ohhhh, I feel so bad. I’m sorry you’re going through this."

"It’s okay. It’s normal. It’s a good sign, actually!" (Charlotte reaches out and grabs Sidney’s hand. She squeezes and looks at Sidney in the dim light. She can tell he’s concerned.) 

"It’s okay. Really. Is this “for better or worse”?" 

"I think it’s “sickness and in health”. (They both laugh.)

"I think I’m done. When I do throw up I feel better--until the next wave comes through."

"Would you like gingerale?"

"Yes and a few saltines, please."

"You got it."

"Thank you for thinking of that."

"Hey, I learned from the best.">/p>

"Love you."

"Love you more. Two."

[Well, it’s official. Full fledged pregnancy. I’m so excited! I just have to get through this part. I didn’t make it this far last time. This is about where we found the tubal pregnancy. Please, God. Don’t take this away.]

__________________________

“Hey, would you like to take a walk on the Parkway? Maybe hit Starbucks?”

“Oh, please!!! That sounds awesome.”

“It’s an absolutely gorgeous day--by Minnesota standards. One of those early spring days. About 40 degrees. For March in Minnesota that’s tropical. Sunny day with lots of people on the path. (An Audobon of sorts with bikes, pedestrians, rollerbladers, dogs and the like.) It’s fun to be out and about. “Charlotte, when do you think we conceived?”

“Well, the doctor will be able to tell us around 20 weeks. We have our first ultrasound next week. Put it in your calendar. I want you there. The ultrasound at 20 weeks is when they can tell us the approximate due date.Then you can do the math and back that out by the number of weeks. By my online calendar, late September is the due date. So, that means conception is the week of December 30th - 5th, like we thought. It said the best time for conception was the first through the 3rd.” 

“Yeah, but I’m asking you, WHEN do YOU think we conceived?”

“Oh, Sidney...how would I know? That was a busy week.” (Charlotte giggles like a school girl and winks at Sidney.)

“Busy”?? I LOVE it! You think we were ‘busy’”?

“Now you stop right there. The prude in me will get embarrassed and it doesn’t really matter, does it? Our efforts paid off.” (Charlotte giggles and makes eye contact with Sidney this time.)

“I’m going to say the yurt.” (Charlotte IMMEDIATELY blushes.)

“Sidney...STOP!” (Charlotte slaps his arm.)

“Well, remember when we were...”

“Oh, dear God, Sidney! Please stop! [Truly. I can’t do this.] Too much! Tooo much!” Charlotte is turning. Red! 

“Oh, what’s this? Charlotte Louise, are you blushing? Like for real?”

“Don’t you dare go there! (Charlotte sticks her fingers in her ears and starts doing the lalala) I’m serious. I can’t do this, Sidney. Can you please give me a break?”

“Wait a minute.” (Sidney grabs Charlotte around the waist, turns her to face him and holds her tight. Charlotte takes her fingers out of her ears and listens.) “I want to be able to share these times with you. I’m your HUSBAND, Charlotte! I was the other half of the event. You’re not telling me anything NEW--you’re just sharing your feelings. Can’t you do that?”

Charlotte stares at Sidney for a while and answers, ”No.” Charlotte has a huge little shi* smile on her face. [How much more straight forward can that be? C’mon...leave me alone.]

“Charlotte...seriously.”

“Sidney, seriously...you’re so annoying. As you pointed out, you were there. Use your memory. I don’t need to comment. You’ve done this to me before and you got the same answer. I can’t help it! I just would never get through that discussion even if I TRIED to talk about it. I just don’t have that much experience about all this. You know that. I have nothing to compare to. [Shit I can't believe I'm talking about this.] I don't know if things are "good" or better" much of this I'm experiencing for the first time. Shit! Do I really have to defend myself? Now, c’mon. It embarrasses me. Now PLEEASE stop! Please!”

"Iiii want feedback if it's good or not!

"You got as much as you're going to get while we were in the shower. That comment even caught me by surprise! (Charlotte giggles and winks). Please Sidney. You push it you'll make me very self-conscious and ruin it for me. (Charlotte puts her hand on Sidney's cheek.) Please? I love you! Three.” Charlotte leans over and gives Sidney a peck on the cheek. 

“Charlotte…”

“Ugh! No! Ask me in a decade! I'll know you better and trust you with disclosing my sexual 'feelings'." (Charlotte giggles again and runs ahead. She’s about three houses ahead on the sidewalk.)

"It will be too late by then. I'll be too old to perform. I'm older than you, remember?" (Sidney yells but Charlotte waves over her back and keeps walking.) 

[Did he really just yell what I think I heard? In front of the neighbors?? OMG, Sidney!]

[I love that girl. For as much as she’s “out there” and uninhibited normally she truly cannot handle talking sex. Of ANY kind! About humans or animals! I’m going to keep working on that. It all was amazing. I hope it’s not really a decade for God’s sake! If nothing else, I wanted to segue into a discussion to reassure her, she’s amazing. Innocent and loving. I mean that. I feel very much love when I’m with her. That’s definitely been missing in my past. Even more evidence of how messed up I was.] ‘Hey, if you’re going to keep running ahead order my coffee for me, will ya’”?

Charlotte turns to face Sidney and does a big, over-exaggerated blown kiss, swinging wide with her arm and walks on.

,

“I love her. I love our life. I’m very excited for our future and our family. Please, don’t take this away.”

Day #92 - March 15th

_____________________________

“I’ll meet you there today. That’s the plan, right? Text me the details. I’m excited”

Charlotte is on the phone but waves and nods “yes”. Sidney runs by and gives her a kiss on the cheek on his way out the door. Weasley follows Sidney out to his car and sits on the curb, watching Sidney drive down the hill; then he turns around and comes back in. It’s like it’s like he think it’s his duty to see Sidney off each morning. (Those two are “buds”.)

It’s another crazy Monday at the Parkers.

_ [Thank God I don’t have class until 11:00. I feel like I could throw up again. When is it that the nausea usually subsides? I didn’t get this far along last time.] _

Charlotte pulls up her pregnancy website and reads about all the development that is going on this week. They have in utero pictures and everything. Its kind of turned into her and Sidney’s Monday night ritual. But today they’re going in for their first ultrasound. 12 weeks. Starting the second trimester.

_ [Today we hear the heartbeat.] _

“Yes. I’m just parking. I’ll be there in 5 minutes. What floor again? Okay. See you soon. Love you, too.”

Charlotte is notoriously late but this time it’s Sidney. There’s only so much time allowed for the ultrasound so Charlotte is getting a bit nervous.

“I’m here! I’m here! Sorry! So sorry!” Nurses have led Sidney into the darkened room. He takes a seat and reaches out to hold Charlotte’s hand.

The technician squirts the warm jelly on her tummy and Sidney squeezes Charlotte’s hand. The woman goes digging around with her wand and pretty soon, there it is. The whoosh-whoosh sound of the baby’s heartbeat.

Sidney bows his head and puts their hands on his forehead.  _ [I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I just can’t beLIEVE this! I can’t believe my LIFE! Oh, WOW! That’s my baby!] _

“Do you hear that, Sidney? Oh, my gosh! That’s amaaaazing! Awwww, I’m so exCIIITed!” Charlotte is smiling ear to ear.

Sidney looks up and you can tell he’s getting emotional. He stands up. Leans over and kisses her forehead and strokes her hair. He whispers “thank you” in her ear.

Charlotte smiles and squeezes his hand.

“This is the head. You can see the beating heart. The spine, leg, the beginning of arms, hands...Everything looks great! At 20 weeks we’ll do 3-D pictures and take measurements. For now, everything looks perfect. Congrats, Mom and Dad!”

The technician wipes the jelly off and leaves the room. “Mom and Dad!” Charlotte sits up and smiles, with so much happiness, to Sidney. She reaches out for a hug.

Sidney says nothing he just dives right into her and wraps her up in one of his terrific, arms completely wrapped around her back, hugs!

“Thank you. Thank you.”

Charlotte starts to move so she can respond to his face. He’s not letting go. Charlotte giggles and says, “You’re welcome.”


	6. "Meet Baby Parker!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney have been waiting... Today they will learn about their actual due date and get some precious  
> 3-D pictures of the baby. Did Sidney really say "bring it" to fate?

Day #170 ___________________ “Good morning my beautiful wife. The beautiful mother of my child.”

“Oh, Sidney, thank you.” (They lean together and share a sweet kiss.)

“How nice of you to bring me my tea. A lovely way to start my day. You spoil me, Sidney.” 

“Charlotte is full of smiles these days. She’s feeling so much better and has much more energy than she’s had in months.

“You feeling well, today?” 

“I’m feeling so much better. Do you think we could look for some furniture for the nursery today?”

“Sure! Do you want to go to Stillwater?” (The antiquing town along the St. Croix river. East of the Twin Cities.]

“Ohhh, that would be so amazing. I’m sure I’ll find something there.”

“Well, let’s do it!”

“Would you come lay with me, Sidney? Would you rub my back?”

“Absolutely!” (Sidney walks to his side of the bed.)

“Oh, and Sidney. You have too many clothes on for the job.” (Charlotte smiles a coy smile to Sidney who does the “who me?” and points to his chest.)

“Yes, you. The handsome father of my child.”

“Well, I would be delighted, M’lady.”

Charlotte starts to giggle as Sidney strips down humming the stripper song and lifts the covers to slide in beside her.

_ [Oh, my God. I love my life.] _

_[I can hardly believe this is my life. I love her. I love her so_ _much.]_

_______________________________

  
  


June 2nd - Day #170 (From their US Anniversary)  **Meet Your Baby!**

“Well, are you two ready to meet your baby up close?”

“Yes!” Sidney and Charlotte speak together and hold hands.

The technician pours the warm gel on Charlotte’s belly and starts rubbing side to side.

Soon they all could hear the heartbeat. “Well, that sounds wonderful. Strong and healthy. Ah, here we see the hand and this is the torso. Do you want to find out the sex of the baby?” Sidney and Charlotte speak together and both say “No!” Sidney is the first to explain:

“There’s no need in ruining the only true surprise in life.”

“I happen to agree, giggles the technician. You are one of very few, let me tell you.”

Charlotte and Sidney look at one another, smile and squeeze hands.

“Now, I’m going to try and take some photos of the face. You will see they are very clear. You can almost tell who the baby looks like.” The technician prints the photos and hands them to Charlotte and Sidney who are mesmerized by what they see.

“I’m going to have you hold still. (“Sorry!”) What we want to do now is measure the femur and determine the age of this little one. Figure out an approximate due date. Do you have an idea when this baby was conceived?”

Charlotte and Sidney start giggling. “Yes. We’re pretty sure when--give or take a day or two.”

“Just a few more measurements (the head) and (the femur) ...looks like we are at 21 weeks. January 1st through the 5th’ish?. Does that sound right?”

Sidney and Charlotte nod “yes” and start to giggle.  _ [Our anniversary, the Yurt, the shower, the office aaand a few more…I did good!] _

“So...that gives us a due date of September 26th. Well, that’s a beautiful time of year here in Minnesota.”

“Congratulations, you two! Everything looks wonderful--perfectly healthy. Next ultrasound in 15 weeks if the doctor thinks you need it.”

Charlotte and Sidney turn and share a kiss--a little more than just a peck.

“Love you!”

“I’m pretty sure I love you a whole lot more.”

_______________________

  
  


**8 weeks later...**

_ [Could there be anything better than a float in the pool at high noon?]  _ Charlotte dons her ear buds, sunscreen, sunglasses and hat and takes to the pool. Her favorite yellow floaty awaits. Of course she has her phone on Pandora on the Motown channel, per usual. She’s tapping the rhythm with her foot in the water. “It’s great to be a teeeaaacher!” (Summers off!)

All of the sudden there’s a flick of water in her face and the tunes turn off. Charlotte pulls her sunglasses down. “Sidney! What are you doing here?” Charlotte is full of big smiles. [I love when he surprises me like this.]

“I thought I’d come home for lunch for a change. Come see what you’re up to. I should have figured you’d be in the pool, my water baby.”

“Isn’t it glorious out here?’

“Yes. It’s very nice. Can’t say I’ve been anywhere that beats this Minnesota summer. It’s amazing.” (Sidney fades out for a minute.) “I love it here, Charlotte. I love being with you. This charming house. The crazy cat and my BABY’s coming...my life is full.

“We are blessed, Sidney.”

“Yes, we are. Come over here and give me a kiss.”

“Come in here and get one…,” Charlotte teases.

“Ohhh, you never should have said that, Missy.”

Charlotte starts giggling, saying, “Sidney! Ahhh! Are you serious?”

Sidney doesn’t answer, he just keeps on stripping.

“Sidney! You can’t skinny dip! It’s the middle of the day! Those neighbors (she points) can see the pool”!

“That’s okay. Skinny dipping in the dark is best anyway. Seems I owe you a date in the pool, a tryst as it were? Don’t I?”! 

Charlotte sucks in, in surprise. “I can’t believe you remembered what with all that is happening.”

“Charlotte, I can’t believe you think I’d forget! I don’t forget those types of promises. (Sidney raises his eyebrows in a flirt.) We’re erasing Steve’s hold over you I’ll meet you tonight!” (Sidney has a huge little s**t grin.)

Charlotte giggles as Sidney climbs the ladder and cannon ball jumps into the water--wearing boxers!

“You’re CRAZY!” Charlotte giggles with delight.

Sidney comes up and whips his curls as he turns his head. Water flies everywhere. Crazy for you my dear! Sidney catches Charlotte’s floaty and turns it around so he may kiss her. Passionately. [This is so much fun! I love this man!]

“Will you marry me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I want my married life to be just like this. It’s because of you. I’ll ask you every day if I have to to sustain this.”

“Sidney, you are just the sweetest, kindest man. Thank you for saying that. I feel the same way! I’m so afraid something will jinx it. That we’ve got it so good the universe will take it away or something.”

“I think this perfect reality is winning out over that unyielding fear of the unknown. For me anyway. It feels so good! Bring it!”

  
  



	7. "Prince"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is progressing well on the pregnancy. (34 weeks) She's keeping her loving and devoted husband busy fetching her cravings. (Poor Sidney!) Charlotte and Sidney are taking a last minute trip to Sanditon to say good bye to friends and family. It's a MEMORABLE trip!

Sidney comes home from work to hear Prince’s “Red Corvette” blaring. A big grin comes across his face as he walks up the sidewalk. He knows what this is about. Charlotte LOOVESS Prince!

Sidney opens the door to see Charlotte dancing in the dining room. She’s got the dining room table pushed against the windows and she’s spinning around with an air guitar in her hands. Sidney is standing in the doorway still with his hand on the doorknob and he is laughing. Charlotte spins around to see Sidney with that smile on his face and she stops and tips her head.

“Aww, Sidney...you caught me!”

“I believe I have. Are you having fun?”

“Oh, I love Prince. You know that.”

“Yes, but do the neighbors?”

“Hmmm. Not sure. I listen to their Country crap. It’s myyy turn,” Charlotte giggles.

“Sidney come here. I have something for you. You’re not going to believe it! The baby likes “When Doves Cry”. She? He? Kicks to the beat. Come here. Stand right here. Now put your hand on my belly here.” Sidney does as he’s told while Charlotte starts the CD. Sure enough, not hardly 10 seconds into the intro the baby starts kicking, rhythmically.

Sidney’s face lights up and Charlotte starts to giggle. “Isn’t that amazing Sidney?! Still in my tummy! A little musical child! I love thinking about that! Thinking about all this child could be. I hope they like theater. Singing?”

Sidney puts his hands on either side of her face and tips her head to make eye contact. He gives her the sweetest kiss and looks in the eyes. “Charlotte thank you for all of this.” (Sidney then lays a passionate kiss on her. They giggle when he pulls back.) “I can’t tell you how excited I am to be a father. I really can’t believe my life now, with you.”(He pulls her in for a side hug.) “Do you ever stop to think about that? How really different my life is with you. Sanditon is behind me now.”

Charlotte puts her arms up around Sidney’s neck and makes a joke about getting too big to do that. “Sidney, from the day you showed up in my house I knew you were never leaving my life. I wouldn’t and WILL NOT let you go. We’ve been through so much Sidney. It’s our turn to enjoy things. I love you sooo much, Sidney Michael Parker and so does your baby. Theo or Charlie.” The two stare at one another and share a sweet, loving kiss.

“You’re blowin’ my mind you know. We were talking hypothetical names not even a year ago and they’re about to become REAL. VERY real!”

“I KNOOOW! That’s craaaaazy! This whole year is turning out to be unbelievable! And talk about “real”? I’m getting HUGE Sidney! Will you still find me attractive as a big, fat whiny whale woman?”

“Ah, yes. The whiny whale woman. You warned me about this. (Sidney laughs) Hmmm. Let’s see. I’m not sure. Just when is this ‘whale woman’ supposed to appear.”

“I’m not feeling all that attractive right now. I’m running out of clothes that fit. I’m craving strange things, too. Can we go for chicken fried steak tonight? With mashed potatoes and gravy? _ [What the hell is THAT!?]  _ And some fruit pop popsicles...and lemonade? My lemonade craving is becoming a bit ridiculous. Did you know Starbucks has lemonade? That’s deadly—just 6 blocks away at $5 a piece!”

Sidney chuckles. ‘Anything you want my dear. Anything you want.’

_____________________________

  
  


‘Sidney, thank you for taking me out to dinner. That really helped.”

“Charlotte what WAS that thing? Not chicken, right?”

“Good question! I’m not quite sure! Beef I think. Flattened. Breaded and deep fat fried?” Sidney raises his eyebrows. _ [WTF? Charlotte! It looked disgusting! YUK!] _

“I know. I know. I never eat that in my normal life. But Sidney, this isn’t ‘normal’ I’m getting uncomfortable. And grouchy!”

_ [Is fishing for something…]  _ “Charlotte, you’ve been pretty good throughout this whole thing. You’re entitled get grouchy here these last few weeks.”

“Thank you. You’re such a sweet man. I love you. Charlotte kisses Sidney’s cheek and heads out of the room to the kitchen.”

Later that same evening... 

“Sidney…?”




[Ohhh, that tone of voice doesn’t bode well for me.]

“I’m in here!” Sidney opens the newspaper wide and hides behind it.

“Sidney.”

Sidney folds over his paper and responds. “Charlotte, if it isn’t the ubiquitous Mrs. Parker.”

“Is that meant to be a compliment? Of COURSE I’m everywhere! Where else should I be?”

_ [Well, take it as you’d like. I admit, I am getting pretty “crowded” in this house. It’s been raining for 3 days straight. Even Weasley is smothering me lately.] _

“Well, interpret as you wish. You’re 34 weeks pregnant. I’m not contesting an-y-thing!

What is it you need, Madam? Mad, passionate love-making?”

“STOP! You’re teasing me.”

“Well, not necessarily. It might be tricky, however.”

“Sidney Parker! Stop right there before you get into some sexual, embarrassing thing that I can’t handle. Besides, I am most definitely the whale woman. I feel and look gross.”

“Mmmm, may I rewind this conversation…?”

“Oh, STOP!” Sidney takes off on a giggle.  _ [He is obviously more tickled with his own thoughts than what he’s willing to share.] _

Still laughing he asks, “What is it I can do for you?’

Charlotte walks across the room and places Sidney’s hand on her belly. “Do you see this?”

“Yes. Hard to miss these days.”

“Do you feel it?”

“Okay. I give. Again, I’m playin’ no games with the pregnant lady.”

“You mean that?” Charlotte stands beside Sidney’s head and starts running her fingers through his hair.

“Yes! Pick my battles with YOU, Charlotte  _.[Although I’m pretty distracted right now.] _ I ain’t no dummy.”

“What are you willing to do for me? I’m having a craving.”

“Well, how bad? I did take you out tonight and got you your “thing” and lemonade…?” 

“ I have a craving for A & E french onion dip and chocolate milk. With Fretos scoop corn chips.” Charlotte makes the most pathetic look out of the tops of her eyes to Sidney.

“Whaaaat? Charlotte come on! Seriously? Do you really think I ‘m gonna drive 4 hours (total) to Iowa just so you can have A & E?! Have Kemp’s french onion dip and chocolate milk.” 

“Sidney, you KNNOOW there’s no comparison. We’ve done that taste test before, remember?”

_ [Mmmm, it does kind of win the taste test at about 100:1. STOP right there, Sidney!  _ _ Do NOT sucker into this!] _

“Noooo way. Sorry but that’s rather extreme.” 

“See this belly that I’m carrying around for you! Consider it payback.”

“Oh, God, NOOO, Charlotte!!! Let’s figure out something else…”

_________________________

  
  


“What do you think I should take on the trip? I want to take some flattering things. Will you help me pick those out?”

_ [Oh, sh**, NO! That’s the no-win “do I look fat in this?” question. Nope! Gotta escape that one.] _

“I think you look great in anything. Those dresses would be cooler for you.”  _ [How was THAT for diplomatic!?] “ _ Charlotte, I’m going to go get a drink with Ben (the neighbor who can see directly on the pool) down at the Mexican Restaurant. Can I catch up with you later?”

“Well...sure. I guess. You’re going to have to help me later. Get the house ready, Weasley, etc.”  _ [Anything but pick out the clothes! Touchy. Touchy! She is getting rather concerned (too much so) about her weight gain.]  _

_ [I just hope we can make it through these last 6 weeks without a huge blowout. I can’t even I-MA-GINE what that woman would be like in an argument with raging hormones!]  _ Sidney thinks it through, shakes his head and gulps his drink.

“Hey, neighbor, how ya’ doin’? “ Sidney gets up and gives a fist, side hug to Ben, the immediate next door neighbor. “Good to see you! How ya’ been?”

“Well, pretty good, considering my wife’s pregnant.” Sidney laughs.

Ben nods in agreement. “Yeah. That’s a strange time. That’s for sure. Gah, the things they WORRY about! Am I right? (Sidney laughs in agreement.). Jen was all about sleep and nutrition. She’d go to bed at 7:00 and sleep ‘til 7:00. No way could I do that! 7 hours max! We basically had few hours to see each other since we both worked. That stuff she cooked for us for meals was disgusting. I could only handle the sushi. Plant-based diet? OH! HELLLL no! No waaay! I’d sneak down here and have fajitas and beef nachos.”

Sidney laughs, “Charlotte is sleeping less (maybe due to the bi-polar) and is eating and drinking...well, whatever she wants. Whatever keeps her happy! Lemonade lately. You know with Charlotte, kinda gotta pick my battles with that girl and cravings are not worth it!. This latest craving I cannot beLIEVE I suckered in to. I have a college student heading to Iowa right now to pick up this French Onion dip and chocolate milk that she likes. It's a dairy only in Iowa. I better earn biiig sympathetic hubby points for that. I really am surprised I suckered in to that, but I can't resist. It must suck to carry that stomach around for 5 months!" 

Ben just smiles. Pick your. battles, huh? (Charlotte...very spirited, high energy and funny. A great neighbor, actually). “How far along is she?” 

“34 weeks. Due late September.”

“Oh, wow! That’s comin’ up quick!”

“How do you feel about being a Dad?”

Sidney gets all animated. “You know, I can’t wait! I’ve wanted to be a Dad, like, forever. My dad was awesome with the 4 of us. I’m hoping I can do even half as well.”

“So you lived in England the whole time? Grew up there?”

Yup. Sanditon. It’s a small resort town on the southern coast.

“Is that where you met Charlotte then?”

“Yes. She did an architecture study for her Masters. She came over to follow our resort development and then she also studied our historic buildings. Our community goes back to the late 1700’s. She worked in our office. I was the project manager of the development—running things from the office.”

“Ohhh. I see. She must have been a breath of fresh air. Had you met an American woman before?

“No, actually.” (Sidney raises his eyebrows and gets a big grin.)

Ben laughs. “Oh, weLLL...you got a spirited but GENUINE one! I can only imagine she was a whirlwind. Organized your office. Color sorted your pens. And stuff like that?”

“You could say so. Something like that!” The two laughed.

“But you know, she’s a sweetheart. She helped in a pinch when Jen’s mom had to go into the hospital. She took care of Halsey, last minute. Middle of the night. She grows that garden for the neighborhood to enjoy, too! She’s the best! Couldn’t ask for a better neighbor. And she always seems happy.”

“Hu-mm, she does.” Sidney nods.  _ [Now THAT’S a fake out. She often does not feel well or put together. She just puts on a good act. Messing with meds during the pregnancy has really challenged her.] _

“So, tell me about your sports teams and then we’ll get around to work. Rugby, I assume? Any interest in the Vikings…?

“Let me guess, Charlotte is working on you about the Twins…? That girl loooves her baseball...”

  
  



	8. "Sanditon Hello/Goodbye”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney and Charlotte are sneaking in a last minute trip to Sanditon. It's time to say good bye to friends and family as they won't be coming back until the following summer with the new baby. This is going to be a crazy 12 days.

August 18th - Day #247 of 365

Charlotte and Sidney have decided to sneak in a last minute trip to Sanditon. Sidney feels it’s time to finish up some business and say good bye to friends and family. He plans on living permanently in Minneapolis and only returning to England once or twice a year. For now the two want to relive some sentimental moments. 

“What do you think when you’re standing here?” 

“I think of how you were already teasing me and we had known each other but a few minutes.”

Sidney and Charlotte are standing on the bluffs overlooking the town and the beach. They hold hands, stand close and Charlotte has her head on Sidney’s shoulder.

“I believe you were razzing me about swimming nude?”

Charlotte starts to laugh, “Oh, yes! You could not follow the joke at all?”

“Were you actually talking about nudity?”

“Yeees! Your face was priceless!”

“Charlotte, how many women go talking about male nudity within the first half hour of meeting someone--a MALE someone?”

“This one does!” (Charlotte giggles)

“Yes, you are the one who did…(Sidney stares at her)...and I fell more in love with you. I could not beLIEVE your sass. I couldn’t believe you--in MANY situations throughout our time together. I couldn’t tell if it was cultural differences or just you, being Charlotte!? That whole first day was just one thing after another. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I couldn’t believe you were standing right in front of me and I’d been looking for you for so long. I basically had stopped looking then there you were.”

“I had no idea I was making such an impression on you. Well, until later in our relationship. I had a hard time reading you--you were such a flirt!”

“Sidney, in commemoration of our discussion, why don’t you go swimming?”

“Hunh! And why would you suggest that, may I ask?”

“So I could see your gorgeous nude body. (Charlotte quietly giggles and gives a wink.) Instead of visualizing, like I did that day, I can see for myself.”

“Oh, really? You were seeing me naked at that time. Really?”

“Yes.”

“REALLY? CHARLOTTE!!” 

“Well, It was something I imagined at the time. I didn’t think I’d ever be here in warmer months and I certainly didn’t think I’d be returning married as Mrs. Sidney Parker.”

The two turn and stare a moment and exchange a loving kiss.

“Again, that was 30 minutes into our visit, Ms. Prude.”

“I KNOW! I shocked myself! You certainly seemed (more than) self assured in your body image, Mr. Parker. Why did you act shy, for God’s sake? You WERE NOT SHY about your masculinity in any way. 

“That was my assumption all along and I was right. Quite the “cad” my dad would say...I was quite bold, wasn’t I?. You KNOW I NEVER do that!” 

“You were something, Ms. Heywood. I will admit that. You got me very flustered. No woman has ever done that to me. I knew there was something different happening.”

“Could I talk you in to “sea bathing” for me today?”

“Actually, I was going to ask you if you minded waiting for me while I DID take a swim.”

“Not at all! I’d be delighted. Immensely delighted. (Charlotte grins her little sh** grin.) 

“OHHH, really?!” Sidney smiles and starts leading their way down the bluff being mindful to stay in front of Charlotte just in case.

Charlotte takes a seat in the sand and looks out at the sea. The eastern sun makes a mirror out of the water. She watches as Sidney strips down and walks to the edge of the water. [There’s my gorgeous husband. I still can’t believe it. Whose life am I living, anyway?]

Sidney turns and waves and Charlotte smiles and waves back. Soon he’s a silhouette on the horizon swimming side to side.

_________________

“How was it?”

“Invigorating! Quite nice, actually! I miss this you know. I was thinking of maybe trying a swim in Lake Nokomis. Maybe get something going there.”

“That’s a wonderful idea. You could walk to the lake! Clothes are required though, Parker.” (Charlotte giggles)

“Yes. You up tight Americans. Too much so.” 

“I agree. We’re missing out as a culture. Like... I’m always amazed at the French--they CELEBRATE the human body.’(Charlotte is further daydreaming about Sidney. She’s getting embarrassed and he notices.)

“So, be honest. Do I look as you imagined?”

Okay, let me preface my answer. I was checking you out that first day, too. While working together in the office. Like YOU have admitted about me. I had a pretty good idea of what I was seeing. You know, married once. Brothers:

45” chest  
34” waist  
34” inseam  
About 172 pounds  
6’ tall

‘How am I doing so far?’

‘Yeees? ‘Now that’s kinda creepy right there!” (Sidney gets his little s**t grin going.) “Aaaaand?”

“Well...some things were bigger than I envisioned and some things were smaller.”

“Charlotte, are you blushing?” 

“Leave me alone, Sidney.”

“Tell me about this.”

“NO! You asked. I answered. I don’t know why I would do this. You’re my husband! I’ve seen your body many, many times. I think it’s because I even looked at you that way in the first place. On the first day, no less! How tacky is that?. No class, Charlotte! No class.”

“Why is that an issue?”

“Because I don’t do that! That’s a Sidney move, not me. I’m ashamed I even did that--multiple times, actually. So inappropriate! Now please stop. Maybe some other time?” 

[Like a raincheck you’ll never cash, Ms. Heywood?] 

“Believe me, you don’t want to piss me off at the beginning of our vacation.” [Oh, God...please. I would never get through that conversation. Call him off!]

“Okay! OOOKAY! Never argue with a pregnant lady. I do love you, you know.” [The fact she went on to a bright red, fully blushed face tells me much of what I want to know. I love her! Authentic to a fault if there is such a thing.]

“Prude or otherwise... (Charlotte swats at Sidney; he reaches over and puts his hand behind her head.) ...thank you, Charlotte. You’re changing my life.” The two stare in the other’s eyes and Sidney plants one of his better ones on her. 

Charlotte closes her eyes for the kiss and when she opens them Sidney’s staring right at her. “You’re so welcome.” She reaches out to awkwardly hug him--around and across her growing belly. They both laugh.

“Now, where do you want to go? Office? Tom is gone…?”

“To the tunnel of course. Wouldn’t want to miss the best part! Then maybe the office,” (Charlotte giggles like a school girl.)

“To the tunnel!” Sidney leads the charge.

____________________

“Can you show me something, like your childhood home? Your school? The bedroom you grew up in? Fair is fair!. And let me see this Triumph TR6 Trophy.” (Known as a desert sled; quite a collectible motorcycle. The same model used in Steve McQueen’s “The Great Escape”.) “That will be so cool for one motorhead I know.” {Sidney smiles.}

“I also should be looking for something to eat. Nothing big. A snack is fine.”

Sidney drives the vintage MG convertible up the loooong driveway of the original Parker homestead. They round the corner and there is the house. Charlotte gasps. It’s essentially a mini-mansion made out of brick and covered in vine. Charlotte can’t help herself. She doesn’t mean to be rude but her response is more like, “YOU grew up HERE??”

Sidney giggles a bit. [I knew she would say that. Word for word. I love this girl. I am so lucky.] “Yes, this is my childhood home.”

“Oh, Sidney. It’s absolutely GORGEOUS! Mid to late 1800’s? 1868 maybe?”

Sidney smiles and admires from the driver’s seat. “Exactly. That’s amazing! How did you know that?”

“First, I studied these things. Second this is the same brick used in your apartment building. Am I correct in believing your family did much of the developing around here-more than you’ve led on to?”

“Yes. But I didn’t want to brag or anything. It’s just fact. I’m the 4th generation.”

“And you all lived here? The 4 Parker sibs played in this yard? Took two steps at a time on the staircase? I imagine the staircase has two landings? Probably avoided steps altogether on the way down and would jump down to each landing then landed on the floor.”

“Yes, “ Sidney says with a huge smile on his face. [I love how she brings things to life.]

“Yes! We did! How did you know two landings on the staircase?”

“I can picture the layout of most homes by just observing the exterior details. This home is absolutely classic and wonderful! And dare I say “handsome”. Just classic. What a treasure this home is for your family, Sidney.”

“It is. Now stay there I’ll help you out.“ (The car sits quite low to the ground.)

Charlotte giggles. “I don’t have much choice.”

Inside the home is exactly as Charlotte imagined: Wood floors, wooden beams on the ceiling. It has 6 over six paned sashes with hand blown window glass that is rippled--vintage 1865. There’s horse hair plaster with some rounded corners around the windows. She just keeps spinning around the room with her mouth open.

[I absolutely LOVE seeing her in her element! Houses. Architecture. Historic Preservation. That is her love...and children! She’s loved her nanny years. Soon it will be OUURR child!]

“Time for your snack. I’m not sure what’s here since they’ve been gone a while. Mum and Dad aren’t home until Thursday; coming back with Tom. They’ve been on holiday together, in Brittany.” 

“Jason and his family spend much of their summer in Brittany. Freddie’s parents have a beach house therel Wouldn’t that be crazy if they ever met?”

[Tom meeting my new inlaw family? No. Not “fun”.]

“Sooo, you want to see my room?” 

“Yes. Please.”

Charlotte walks into a bedroom right out of a Ralph Lauren ad: Tweeds and plaids and corduroys. Beautiful horse etchings in dark frames. Dark walls and amazing bedding. She sits on the bed and observes the memorabilia. “Wow, what are these? (There’s four trophies she points to.)

“Those are from Rugby. Highest scorer for the season.”

“All four years, I see. Prep school?”

“No. College.” (Sidney is rather shy about it.)

“College!? What? You played Rugby at University?”

“Yes. On scholarship.”

“You didn’t tell me that!? You must be good!”

(Sidney shruggs his shoulders.)

“And this? The medals?”

“Ahhh, yes. High school, Prep, Track and Field--I do noo “field”.” (He laughs.)

“And those are for what, exactly?”

“Ummm, broke some running/track records [Please don’t ask me what. One was your dad’s long-standing high hurdles record. As a freshman. I’d rather not “go there”.]

“And these gigantic ribbons? A lot of blue ones--first place, I assume? (Sidney nods.) Impressive. What gives?”

“Those pertain to horse competition.”

“Whaaat? You’re an equestrian, Sidney? (Sidney nods.) Seriously?”

“I used to be. We have a stable out back. Had a few horses. I’m very fond of horses. I’m very out of shape and practice, however. [Beating her to it....] Fence jumping you Americans would say. Also known as “steeple chase”.

“Shut the front door!” as Americans say! (Charlotte goes into the giggles.) Sidney, I can’t believe it! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Oh, yeah. That fits right into conversation. ‘Oh, by the way, I used to compete in steeple chase.’ C’mon!” (Sidney does a bashful grin.)

“Oh my God, Parker! I ammm impressed! What an athlete! A competitive one too, I would imagine.” 

“Of course.” Sidney shares a sly smile.

“So, where are all those trophies?”

“Down in the study.”

“So, next time we’ll take a ride on the beach, maybe?” 

“I would very much like that. Do you ride, Charlotte?”

“Me? Sure! Yeah! Robin and I would illegally jump a farmer’s fence and ride his horses bareback. Grab the mane and go! That’s the extent of my riding experience!”

“Hmmm, somehow I don’t doubt that. (Sidney breaks into a huge grin.) Let me show you the garden. I know you’ll like that. It’s my Mum’s pride and joy.”

“Sounds lovely.”

“Oh, but I want to see these trophies. Which way to the study?” (Sidney points with a grimace.)

“Oh my Gaaaaawwd!” He hears Charlotte yell from the other room. “How do you turn the light on in this case?”

Sidney walks in the room and reluctantly turns the light on for the huge floor to ceiling glass case. There they are. Many, many trophies of all shapes and sizes including a few (huge) ones. Each one of them is shined to perfection and gleam like diamonds in the light.

“Sidney…” Charlotte is tearing up and looks at him.

“Oh, please. It’s not worth crying about, unless...is this a pregnant lady cry?” 

“Oh, hush! Look at you in these photos? My God! What a handsome boy you are! Such a gleam in your eye! Oh, I love these of you in your stable without your...outfit. Look at those curls! Aww, Sidney, I LOOVE it! What a precious smile! I get to see that now! How lucky am I? Could I get copies of these photos?”

(Sidney nods.) He sits on the edge of the desk and just admires her.

She takes the smallest things and makes them special. Talk about “lucky”. He reaches his arms out to her and she heads in for the side hug. He strokes her back and coaxes her chin up for a kiss. He wipes her tears and smiles at her. [I can’t believe this is my life. I have a baby coming soon!]

“Let’s see the garden…”

“On our way back to town let’s stop by Grand-da’s and check out the motorcycle. I know that’s why you married me.”

The two come together to share their latest hugging technique. (She’s getting too big. They needed an alternative.) While they’re standing in the glorious garden Sidney comes from behind, wraps around her and rubs her tummy, like spooning. Charlotte reaches up and finds his cheek. They rock side to side and in perfect comedic timing Charlotte replies,”You’re right. That IS why I married you.” She gets a HUGE laugh out of that.

“Oh, very cute. You’re pleased with yourself.”

“Hu-hmm. I am.” (Still giggling.)

“Come here, Mrs. Parker...Charlotte…”

“Sidney…”


	9. "The Office"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney is taking over and making this vacation memorable for Charlotte. He's got fun events planned and they are taking a walk down memory lane--visiting places that mean so much to them. Today Sidney is surprising Charlotte with a beautiful breakfast in the office.

“Charlotte, my love. I just wanted to try and keep you more on your sleep schedule today. Can you get up in say, 30 minutes? I have a surprise for you.”

Sidney has set up a beautiful, private and romantic breakfast in the office. Hard boiled eggs. Fruits and cheeses, 3 different kinds of quick breads and decaf coffee for the American. Flowers and a candle on the table with a tablecloth. He’s very proud of himself.

A little time goes by and Sidney has come to pick up Charlotte. “Are you awake?”

“Yes.”

“I’m excited to see what this surprise is.”

Sidney takes her by the hand and they head to the office. “Sidney. What are you doing? Can’t get away from this office, huh?”

“I have something for you. Sidney leads Charlotte in and turns to lock the door. There’s upper southern and northern transom windows which makes the space bright and inviting all day long. The whole front side of the room faces east and features a triple set of 4’ x 6’ windows, overlooking the sea. This morning the office is flooded with light. A really magical setting.

“Ohhhh, Sidney. You are just the sweetest man! Look at what you’ve done here?? This is amaaazing. (Charlotte gives Sidney a loving kiss and puts her head on his shoulder.) Thank you for thinking of this for me.”

“You're very welcome. Here, pick your seat. Chair? Couch?”

“Couch is fine. This is lovely, Sidney.“

“I’m glad you like it. This is just part one of a busy but fun day.”

“Oh, really? What else do you have planned?”

“Well, you mentioned you wanted to see me ride a horse. I found one I can borrow. The back road at the house is perfect and you can watch from the porch.”

“Sidney are you serious? Would you do that for me?”

“Yes, of course. Already in motion. It’s not going to be very exciting. I’m not doing jumps, obviously.” 

“I don’t mind. Just watching will be amazing! Ohhh...Sidney. Thank you for this vacation and all your planning. This is so memorable and fun. I LOVE that you’re taking charge.”

“Well, let me give you some ideas. You say ‘yea’ or ‘nay’:

“Horse riding?”

“YEEAAA! Super handsome knight in some kind of armor on his horse? Get oouuut!”

“Seabathing?”

“Ab-so-lute-ly! YEAAAA!” Charlotte smiles her little s**t grin.

“Lunch and nap for you.”

“Okaaaay….?” (I gueesss.)

“Yes. Rest. You need to be resting.”

“Visit to Esther. Babs is tied up with appointments all day but we’ll see him later this week. We’ll see the baby then I’ll take you out for dinner.”

“Sounds great!”

“Annnnd, dance on the beach in the moonlight. In bed by 10:00 NOT 12:30 or later.” (Sidney furrows his brow like a Dad which makes Charlotte giggle.)

“Oh my, God! That would be so perfect! Are you serious?”

“Of coouuurrse! I’ve got the perfect song—a favorite actually. Maybe two!”

“Sidney Parker. You are amazing! I love you so much! I’m so grateful you’re my husband, the father of my baby and my best friend. Charlotte leans over and lands a very passionate kiss on Sidney. So much so they’re left staring at each other.”

“Well, then.” (Sidney sits stunned in the chair.)

“Well, then. Let’s eat some of this beautiful breakfast shall we?”

“Yes.”. (Sidney is staring at Charlotte.)

“Sidney, eat.”

“How do you do that, Charlotte? It’s like our infamous kiss but a new one of course.”

“You know how. Picture it first. But more importantly relay that passion and love you feel for that person in your kiss. It comes from your lips, to them directly. I’ll practice with you once I eat. <giggle> I can’t get ‘hangry’. You know how that can be. Downhill slide of no return. (Charlotte sits up straight and pours her coffee.) You’ve planned a beautiful day for us. I can’t wait!” 

“Sidney lets some time go by and he says, “Okay, Charlotte. I’m hoping you’ll tell me what got you so flustered yesterday. I know you hate this kind of stuff. You did hint at some things...like within the first 30 minutes of meeting me. Nudity. Swimming. Then when that came up for real, you really got flustered and your face turned bright red.”

“Oh, God, Sidney! I asked you to please let it go.”

“You’re blushing again. I’m touching on some trigger for you. Will you please tell me?”

“Sidney if I tell you would you please leave it alone? Leave ME alone? I’m incredibly embarrassed to talk to you about any of this.”

“Why? It’s only me.”

“Sidney I don’t like to talk to anyone about this stuff. It’s just not an appropriate topic for discussion.”

“Okay…?”

Time goes by and Charlotte starts to tear up.

(Ah, SHIT! Why is she so hung up on this?] “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. If it’s too much, don’t worry about it. I’m half teasing about it, anyway. The other half of me needs his ego stroked.”

Charlotte giggles and looks to the floor. “Sidney, you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever been with. Your body is unbelievable. I mean, c’mon. (She raises her eyebrows. She flips her hands upside, raises them to the ceiling and shrugs her shoulders.) I knew that when I made the comment about nudity on the bluffs. It didn’t occur to me that I was going to see that body for myself one day. (Charlotte shifts her weight and clears her throat.) I used to check you out in the office, you know.”

“Oh….you did, did you?”

“I was ashamed of that. We weren’t dating or anything; who am I to take that privilege? Very inappropriate of me and my thoughts gleaned from all that gawking were not...lady like, let’s say. Besides which, it was obvious we were on two different tracks and operated on two different sets of morals.”

Sidney interrupts, “But I…”

“Don’t say it! You’re gonna say, you wanted to make it work. I just ignored you. Really, it was the other way around.” Sidney watches Charlotte’s face get somber and sad.

“Sidney, how could I date a man like you? I knew you were a ‘player’ from the first time we met. Nooo thank you! I was already dealing with baggage from my marriage. Why would I set myself up for failure and date someone so funny but who was conceited, a self-serving ass and a chauvinist.” .

“Well, don’t hold back or anything…” (Sidney smiles.)

“You WERE! You were married to your lifestyle! You weren’t marriage material. Heartbreaking, because I really enjoyed my time with you.! I knew you were with women and using them for sex. I knew that body, your body, and that loveable person was being used by them. And my efforts to redirect you weren’t working. I actually considered one option—briefly. What if I entered the game? In what way would I stand out above the rest? Would it make any difference to you if we were together?”

“You really thought that of me?”

“Yes, Sidney. I did. Fun to look at. Fun to laugh with but otherwise highly undesirable. I knew what you were doing Sidney and I was trying to help you. You had a fake smile, bags under your eyes and simply appeared lost and confused. Your eyes were dead Sidney. I saw them go. Week after week. Again, absolutely heartbreaking.” 

“I wanted you, Charlotte. It was killing me. That’s the change you were seeing in me.”

“I’ll tell you, part of my embarrassment is I thought about making love to you--often. Too often! (Charlotte looks at Sidney. Giggles and looks down. She is blushing.) Many of those fantasies took place here. This office became emotionally dangerous for me at the end. Sidney, it was sooo inappropriate to even think of you in that way. Disrespectful of you. I longed for that body and that guy with the quick wit but you simply were not available. And I wouldn’t have mattered when you had your choice among many. You were married to yourself, essentially. To your lifestyle, still. I couldn’t reach you. And YOU! You were giving that gorgeous body, that gorgeous soul away, for free. It sickened me.

_ [I gave it away to only one other woman in those 6 weeks. I didn’t have multiple partners then, Charlotte. You changed that much in me. I really tried to walk away from that lifestyle but Eliza Campion was in the picture. She was the death of me. I think my self-esteem took such a hit when I found myself with her again that I went into a destructive death spiral. She was so manipulative and overwhelming. I was afraid she’d find out about my true feelings for you. And maybe hurt you in some way. You’re right. I did get lost and slowly died over those 6 weeks and I felt myself drifting farther away from you. Charlotte you would be sooo upset and disgusted with me to know I had “hook ups”, as you like to call them, with Eliza.] _

“God, there were dreams that I came to you and you stopped all that behavior and It was so beautiful between us. In my dreams. In reality, I don’t think having me would matter to you.” Charlotte gets teary eyed and blushes a little more. Plus...that behavior just isn’t me.” _ [I think more of myself than that, frankly.] _

“Charlotte that’s not true. You mattered more to me than any woman.”

“That’s the behavior I observed, Sidney. I felt like I waited for evidence of change and MY time was running out too!! The reason I blushed and got upset was because your body the other day, looked exactly as I imagined that day on the bluffs. That was a photographic deja vous. You stood there in the sun at the edge of the sea and you looked just exactly as I pictured you. Healthy. Strong. Having pride enough in yourself to not give any part of you away.”

“In reference to getting flustered,I became flustered thinking I thought I would never see that day for you, yet I did! That made me emotional! I was there to see that moment of victory. Iiiii get your body now--exclusively! An irony of sorts.” 

“Plus...naked always makes me blush, you know that. I am the Princess of prude.”

(Charlotte smiles sweetly.)

Sidney comes to sit beside her, shares a smile then stares at her .  _ [Sometimes I just can’t believe there’s someone so real LIKE her that exists and then when I realize she’s affecting my life so much, I have to pause...and think. And appreciate it. I’m distracted. Back to the conversation…] _

“I’d dream about us all the time, Sidney. I’d daydream while we were working together here in the office. My vision was amazing and super embarrassing to recall now. I thought you caught me once. I saw your physique and I pictured everything...the two of us together...you were making love to ME not one of those...sluts! Charlotte closes her eyes, Oh it was so amazing, Sidney. Tender. Loving. (Charlotte looks at him) But so unattainable. You were a “player”. The last thing I needed in my life.”

_ [Reality Charlotte, I only “played” with one woman and she sucked the life out of me. I don’t think I can ever tell you about Eliza no matter how far we’ve come.] _

“I was mad, disappointed and hurt because I reached out and saw no change in attitude. If anything, you were mad at me for setting my boundaries. I was leaving Sanditon without you.” Charlotte has her head on Sidney’s shoulder and she turns to him and looks up. He gives her a sweet, tender kiss on her forehead and snuggles her close.

“Thank you for that,” Charlotte says. As she usually does. She’s appreciative of physical touch and mutual affection.  _ [I’ve never known anyone who does THAT either! Thanks me for my kisses…? You’re one in a million, Charlotte Heywood.] _

_ [I love this woman. Thank God I found her.] _

“I love you soo much, Sidney and I’m so PROUD of you. Your efforts have paid off.” The two look each other in the eye and Charlotte starts to giggle. She touches her cheeks and asks Sidney, “Am I still red?” 

“No. You’re beautiful. Thank you for sharing your secrets with me.”  _ [I don’t think I can ever share mine with you. I love you too much.] _

“I love you with the added benefit of your beautiful body that goes with it! I’m so blessed! Now, are you up for a little practicing?”

  
  



	10. "I Want One!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit with Esther and the new baby, dinner out and a dance on the beach...Sidney is pulling out all stops to make this a memorable and relaxing visit for Charlotte before the baby comes. These two are excited to become parents!

“I want one of these!” Charlotte yells out while holding baby Mason. (She’s got a huuuge smile on her face.) 

“Soon, very soon,” Esther responds. Babs and Esther had their baby boy back in June and this is the first opportunity to meet him. Charlotte is all engulfed with baby bonding and Sidney is tentatively watching from across the room.  _ [We’re going to have a baby like that soon! Watching Charlotte hold that baby sure makes it real. That it’s really coming up. What a reality check. Whoa.] _

“How’s motherhood? Is it just wonderful?”

“It’s just exhausting is what it is but the moments with that little baby takes all the fatigue away. You kinda forget you’re a walking zombie who hasn’t showered in days, hasn’t put contacts in or make up on in over two weeks. If you’re nursing you’re going nowhere cause you’re just learning all that stuff.”

_ [I’d like to nurse but that means going off of all meds. I just can’t do that. It’s more important that I FUNCTION as a person and a Mom. And I like to tell myself that way it allows Sidney to get involved with the feedings and do some extra bonding. I do admire those women though. That takes dedication.] _

“So, yes! Being a mom is the most rewarding thing that has happened to me and it’s FABULOUS when you get those smiles from the baby. That just melts your heart!”

“Oh, I can only imagine! Hear that, Sidney? Smiling babies? Zombie? Both in the same sentence.” (She giggles.)

“Let me tell you it’s helpful to have one parent that’s the night owl and one that’s a morning person cause you are pretty much on call, 24/7. Are you guys opposites like Daniel and I are?”

Sidney and Charlotte look at each other and start giggling. They both say “yes” at the same time. “I know you’re a morning person, Sidney. You’re one of those swimmers out there.”

“Yes. Yes, I am. I just love it.”

“Well, if I could get the baby to sleep longer at one time it would help. We’re only getting like 3 hours, tops.”

“Well, Charlotte here is the infant whisperer. She teaches the baby how to put himself to sleep so when they wake up at the 3-hour mark they’re calm, not scared and just go back to sleep. Did I explain that right?”

Charlotte giggles at Sidney and smiles, “I think I’m seeing a glimpse of a Dad here! You explained that perfectly. I won’t be able to stay overnight with you, Esther, like I like to do but I can certainly teach you some things. Oh, it’s just so much easier if everyone gets some sleep.”

“I would LOVE your help.” 

“Well, let’s do it some night this week. As long as I meet curfew we’re good.”

Charlotte winks at Sidney and he winks back.

_ [Melt my heart! I love a man who winks!] _

“Well, I have breakfast with Babs in the morning so remind him I’ll see him then, will you?”

“Yes, of course.”

“And let’s get us all together a time or two while we’re here.”

“Absolutely. That would be great. ‘Cause we won’t see you guys for a while, I would imagine. Like next summer?”

“Yes. That’s right. Mason will be a year old! Imagine that?! It all just goes tooo fast!”

“Okay. Well then… “(Sidney is trying to shuffle Charlotte out the door.)

“I’ll see you later in the week. Thanks so much for the tea and sincerely, you look great! I know that’s hard to believe because you’re sleep deprived and frazzled but honestly, you appear to us in the outside world that you’re doing well. Cut yourself some slack, okay?”

“Thank you, my friend. You don’t know how much those words mean to me.”

The girls do French cheek kisses goodbye and Sidney waves as he opens the car door for Charlotte. The two get in the car and the conversation goes something like this:

“Did you really mean what you said? She looked terrible! Stressed out. Tired…”

“Sidney, don’t do anything but COMPLIMENT a new Mom and in the same breath ask how you can help. Got it?”

“Got it.”

__________________

  
  


As promised, Sidney is walking hand in hand with Charlotte on the beach. He’s got a new song to dance to and is looking forward to a summer dance under the stars. Soon the two reach the cove and there really hasn’t been much conversation. They’re getting to that nice stage of friendship where there doesn’t need to be talking. Companionable silence.

Charlotte stands in front of Sidney and he takes the hair off her face as the wind on the beach is always blowing. He holds her face in his hands and does what Charlotte said this morning about how to kiss like she does.

It worked. They both know it! Matter of fact he took Charlotte’s breath away. She sucks in her breath at the end and says,”My God, Sidney. If I weren’t pregnant already I soon would be!”

They both start to laugh at that. Laugh hard at that. Laugh enough to where Charlotte is having one of her laugh attacks and tears are coming down her cheeks.

“Ohhh, Sidney. I love you sooo much. You’re so happy and that’s great to see. That makes MY life easier! Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Ms. Heywood Parker”

Charlotte smiles a big smile which can easily be seen. There’s almost a full moon.

“Okay, Charlotte...here’s my song for you. I thought the words were so fitting--so like us…”

Sidney does a couple dashes on the phone and up pops “Thinking Out Loud” written and performed by Ed Sheeran

  
  


When your legs don’t work

Like they used to before

And I can’t sweep you off

Of your feet

Will your mouth still remember

The taste of my love?

Will your eyes still smile

From your cheeks?

And darling I will be loving

You till we’re seventy

And baby, my heart could still

Fall as hard at twenty-three

And I’m about how

People fall in love in

Mysterious ways

Maybe just the touch of a hand

Well me, I fall in love

With you every single day

I just wanna tell you I am

So honey, now, take me into

Your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of 

A thousand stars

Place your head on my beating

Heart, I’m thinking out loud

And maybe we found love

Right where we are

When my hair’s all but gone

And my memory fades

And the crowds don’t

Remember my name

When my hands don’t play

The strings the same way

I know you will still love

Me the same

Cause honey your soul could

Never grow old, it’s evergreen

And baby, your smile’s forever

In my mind and memory

I’m thinking about

People fall in love in

Mysterious ways

And maybe it’s all part of a plan

Well I’ll just keep on making

The same mistakes

Hoping that you’ll understand

But baby, now, take me into

Your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of

A thousand stars

Place your head on my beating 

Heart, I’m thinking out loud

And maybe we found love

Right where we are

Oh baby, we found love

Right where we are

And we found love right

Where we are

“That was perfect, Sidney! I love the “place your head on my beating heart”. I tend to do that anyway, don’t I?” Charlotte giggles.

Sidney pulls her back into that position and just holds her tight.

“This overwhelms me sometimes, Charlotte. Like, life is going so well but I’m waiting for that other shoe to drop.”

“I understand. That happens to me sometimes. I think it’s just human nature to think doom is around the corner. But try to look at it as you DESERVE this happiness. You’ve been through a lot of heartbreak and sadness, Sidney. You deserve this time of happiness.”

“I think that’s it mostly. I feel like I DON’T deserve this. I’ve hurt so many people.”

“Make amends to people that you can and then drop the guilt. Guilt will kill you. It will eat you up inside.”

[Wow. That’s putting it mildly. Oh...I don’t want to ruin this trip. Maybe I can tell her when we get back home. She will be sooo hurt to know Eliza was in the picture.]

“Okay, my dear husband and life coach, (Charlotte giggles) I think I do need to get off my feet and rest. Would you mind escorting me back to our room?”

“It will be my pleasure, Madam.”

“Thank you for my song, Sidney.”

“You’re welcome, Charlotte. Anything for my guurrl.”

They share a smile and a soft laugh.

____________________________

  
  


“Oh. I’m getting huge. And uncomfortable. This needs to be over. But there’s 5.5 weeks left. I can’t imagine what I’m going to look like by then. And I ache….ohhhh, I ache.”

“Well, come here. Where do you ache?”

“Can we start with my feet? Then my lower back?”

“Sure. Kick ‘em over here.”

“Ohhh, my God. I’ll give you 5 years to stop that.“ (They both giggle)

“So, Sidney. I wanted to ask you, how much of that birthing class do you remember? Cause I remember jack-shit-nothing!” (They giggle)

“Well, you know, I sat through those three weeks of classes and I basically said to myself, we’re going to have our doula helping direct things so I’m just there for moral support. I’m there to hold your hand so you can squeeze the shit out of it during contractions. I could see you yelling out at me that the pain is my fault cause I got you pregnant. I’ll rub your back...whatever you need me to do, I’m there.”

“You know, all I remember is the time she said, “Okay, those of you who are doing natural child birth go to this wall. Those who will use pain interception meds go to this wall. I went to the meds. They don’t put “she delivered naturally” on your tombstone! It was me and one other woman on that wall and 12 people on the other wall. I wanted to yell out, “Yeah, see how you’re feeling after 15 hours of labor and THEN come talk to me.”

Sidney is giggling. He remembers when the teacher did that and Charlotte just walked right over there...with pride!

“I mean, seriously, it’s exhausting enough! Take away even more energy to deal with pain? No thank you. You know, my Grandma talks about how they used to put women under/asleep to deliver babies. I’m not even sure how you would do that? That would freak me out! If you didn’t partake in the delivery how is it to have a baby put in your arms? How do you know it’s really yours?”

  
Sidney is just listening, like a counselor. He nods in agreement.  _ [Just let her ramble. She’s getting scared.] _


	11. "Did He Say 'Bring It!'?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney...Sidney...Sidney. Will you never learn? Don't tempt fate in a challenge. “Bring it!" Really, Sidney? (That day in the back yard pool. Remember?) And don't EVER underestimate your wife. She's 10 steps ahead of you. Always.

“Hey man. (Fist hug and hand slap on the back. ) How ya’ doin’?”

“I’m good. Good to be back. This IS going to be the last trip for a while cause after this, Charlotte can’t fly. So maybe next summer. Introduce our babies to each other!” (Sidney breaks out in a huge grin.)

“Yeahhhh…”

“Can I get you two started with something to drink?”

Sidney goes for orange juice and the new Dad goes for caffeine. “Espresso. Black. Please.” 

“Do you know what you’re having?”

“My usual; 2 eggs, hashbrowns and bacon.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Here ya’ go fellas. Have you had a chance to pick out something?”

“Yes.” (Sidney points at the menu.) “Times 2, please.”

“How would you like your eggs?”

“Basted. Sidney points to Babs.”

“Scrambled. Thank you.”

“So, tell me about being a new Dad? I absolutely can-not wait! I searched for Charlotte for years and finally found her—she’ll be an excellent Mom for our children. I always wanted to be a Dad and that’s happening now, too. We are surprised that it happened so quickly, but elated! I know NOTHING! Charlotte is going to have to teach me EVERYTHING!” Sidney is just chattering. Disjoint thoughts. He’s so happy and excited.

“Charlotte. My WIFE, Babs! I don’t think anyone else can make me so happy. I dream about our baby and family constantly.”

Babs sits there silently. Just listening.

“Well, enough about me! Tell me about Mason! How do you think Esther is holding up?” 

“Great, considering. That childbirth is incredible! What women go through is nothing short of a miracle. Well, it IS a miracle. You will never see Charlotte the same way again. Women are absolutely amazing! So strong. Esther has great fortitude and we’re figuring it out--slowly.” (Babs quietly laughs.)

“I want to invite you guys over to dinner this week! Can we get that put together? I want you to meet Cathie, Marcus’ new girlfriend.” 

“Ohhh! He’s making it work isn’t he? We FaceTimed a couple weeks ago and he seemed really happy.”

“Yes. I dare say it’s getting pretty serious. You know, Sidney, I’ve never seen him so happy. Not since we were carefree kids. Truly, it’s a wonder to see.”

“Here ya’ go. Do you want Ketchup?” (Bab’s nods no.)

“No. We’re good. Thank you.”

“Oh. This is good, just like I remember.”

“Amazing. The traditional British breakfast but yet they make it even better!”

“Agreed!”

“So, Sidney. I asked you to breakfast in order to get you to myself. You’re hard to track down.”

“It’s been nuts since I’ve arrived. Loose ends to tie up before I live in America. You’d think I was moving to the moon! Say, I need to sign documents with you, don’t I? For that will and the trust for the baby? I’ll be taking out life insurance, but over there. Charlotte will need to sign too, right? She will be the conservator until the baby is 30. No kid gets an inheritance in his 20’s; not in MY family! Thirty! That’s wild to think about, isn’t it? Be here sooner than you know it.”

“Sidney, that’s a really good segue to what I need to talk to you about.”

“Ohhhh. Sounds serious.”

“It is.” (There’s dead silence.) He waits until Sidney stops eating and looks up.

“What? What is it?”

Babs really starts hemming and hawing. Sidney completely stops eating and places his silverware beside his plate. “What is it, Daniel?”

“I don't know how to tell you this. I’m just going to lay it out there and then get into the details. Sidney you have fathered a child.

Sidney takes the napkin and wipes his mouth. He leans forward to Babs.

“What the HELLL are you talking about? No woman said anything to me. How do YOU know about this and I don’t.”

“She came into my office yesterday, assuming I’m your legal counsel—which I am. Don’t doubt that. Sidney, she’s taking you to court for child support and maintenance.”

“This is absurd!!! I’m highly suspicious of this woman. Who is it?”

“Well, the mother, the woman, is Eliza Campion.” Sidney is enveloped in chills and he stares blankly at Babs. 

“Eliza?”

“Yes. Could this be true, Sidney?”

Sidney sits back in the booth and stares out the window before he looks back at Babs. “Yes. It could be true. I mean, when was the baby born?

Sidney you had unprotected sex with her? (He says with comPLETE surprise. WTH?)

Sidney looks down at his lap and then leans back again and adjusts his seat in the booth.. “Ah, shit. No...No. No. No. No. NOOO! Please tell me she’s lying. Just trying to trap me…?”

“Does that mean “YES?!?” 

“Oh, God! I always wear a condom. Always! I didn’t with her a few times over the years. She said she was on the pill. I figured as much. We’d had relations before with no pregnancies.”

“Plural, Sidney? You had sex with Eliza multiple times?”

“Yes?”

“Over the years? And with no condom?” 

“That was years ago.That was 15 years ago we broke up. Maybe half a dozen times, over the years. Truthfully, at the time I didn’t mind the thought of getting back together again. Stupid, I know.

“So, yes. Once. I think? I was pretty drunk one night. You remember that night? You took me home. I had just met Charlotte that day and was freaked out. She was amazing! She confused me! Do you remember? You and Marcus walked me home—you told me later. I didn’t even remember how I got home. I don’t remember details, really.

“She showed up at my door! What time was that, when you dropped me off? 2:00? 3:00 in the morning? She just showed up. Why was she there, anyway? Well, you know how she can be...all over me. That’s about all I can remember. I just remember I was out of it enough that I may not have used protection. But, but I always DO! Drunk or otherwise. Automatically. I know better. (Babs sits back and has an incredulous look on his face.) I don’t know why I wouldn’t but...

“Put it this way, I didn’t find evidence of any in the morning. Hell, she wasn’t a stranger! I know her. I was engaged to her for Christ’s sake!”

[That’s exactly the thinking that will get you in trouble. I can’t believe this.]

“Anyway, that’s the only thing I remember—other than waking up with her next to me. I couldn’t believe it! A fucking NIGHTMARE! I thought it was Charlotte in my stupor,  I think. I was pretty fucked up that night. Charlotte blew my mind.”

Babs is across the table, staring at Sidney in disbelief. [This is incredible! He has safe sex with dozens of other women and then she comes along. She still can manipulate him. She seduces him and he lets her get her way and walk all over him. Nothing new there. They might as well be back in high school! He would always do anything for her. She took advantage of him. Took advantage of his kindness AND stupidity! Ohh, this isn’t good. Only takes once!]

“C’mon. Is this for real?”

“Well, her side of the story sounds believable. Doesn’t it?”

Sidney is spacing off looking at the people in the restaurant and then faces Babs again. “Got a picture?”

Babs pulls out his cell phone and shows a quick snapshot taken while they were in the office yesterday. 

“I can’t tell anything from this? Is he or she supposed to look like me or something? When was this baby born?” 

“July 25th. 2020.”/span>

“A boy?”

“Yes, it’s a boy.”

Sidney sits back again and rubs his thumbs up and down his thighs—a nervous habit. He is taking in the sights outside and is trying desperately not to scream.  _ [She is NOT going to ruin what I have going! My life is finally coming together.] _ “Babs, she was married at the time. Couldn’t he be the father of that child?”

“Sidney an-y-bo-dy, quite literally, could be that baby’s father but she claims it’s you. She says she and her husband were separated at the time.” 

_ [Oh, shit! She did say that.] _

“Why now, huh? Why didn’t she contact me during the pregnancy? Or even during this first year? I was in and out these past several months. She could have found me if she wanted to. WHY?? Why now? She saw Charlotte pregnant or something? That woman is evil, I swear.”

”Probably because her parents have cut her off. She’s destitute. It’s not a pretty picture.”

“Getting what she deserves.”

“We will definitely require a paternity test before we move forward. For sure we’ll do that. But Sidney, you AND Charlotte need to be prepared if the test indicates you are indeed the father.”

At that Sidney’s eyesight starts to get blurry. Tears are clouding his vision and he’s very nauseated.  _ [I’m starting to have a panic attack! I haven’t had one of these for a decade or more. Oh, my God! What am I going to tell Charlotte??] _

“What am I going to say to Charlotte? She’ll leave me over this. This is too big. Even for her. We’ve worked through a lot of my past. She’s amazing! She’s taught me so much. But this?? A baby? This may do it.

“I’m just so paranoid of her leaving—like she did when she up and left Sanditon. She up and left her marriage too, you know, when she had enough. There’s just so much more at stake now. (Sidney spaces out the window again.) I love her so much—it’s crazy how that has come to be. We’re a good team, ya’ know…? She’s the best thing to happen to me.” A tear falls down Sidney’s cheek.

Babs is watching his friend fall apart…

“So, you’ve seen him?”

“Yes, she came in the office with him yesterday.”

“And? Does he look like me?”

“Well, yes and no. I mean, it’s hard to tell at those ages, you know? He did have your coloring.”

“A slightly darker complexion?” 

“Yes.”

“Dark hair?”

“Yes. Curly dark hair. A really beautiful baby. Well, he’s just over 1 now. A toddler, I s’pose.”

Sidney slams his fist on the table. (People turn from their tables to see what the noise was about.) “She’s going to ruin me after all! Charlotte will be heartbroken! My first baby is supposed to be with her! Oh, God damn! Fuck! (Babs can see the anxiety attack taking over. It’s familiar to him. He’d seen it in high school.) FUCK! What are we going to do? How do I even see this baby? I don’t want to have to hang out with her in order to see him!

“She trapped me, Babs. Knowing her, that was her intent. She kept telling me how she made a mistake and she still loved me. Ugh! I wasn’t officially with Charlotte then but I desperately WANTED to be! My behavior was certainly a huge part of us not moving forward. She didn’t trust me then. She thought I was a “player”.

“Sidney, you WERE a player. She wasn’t wrong there. I don’t blame her.”

“Yes. I was. (Sidney stares directly into Babs’ eyes.). I started to change because of her. From that first day forward. I tried to. It’s been a journey but I told you then she was the one. Day one! I loved her from the start. “

“Yes. You did.”

“I’m gonna throw up. Can we get out of here?”

_______________________

  
  


Sidney is walking home and running through scenarios in his mind.  _ [I’m not ready! I can’t face her, This will kill her.]  _ Once again he finds he’s battling a panic attack.

He’s comPLETEly preoccupied on his way home. _ [How do I even TELL her this!? We’ve come so far. We’ve worked through all this promiscuity and immoral behavior. Poor judgment. One by one we have tackled my behavior and feelings and I feel more confident today than I have ever before regarding faithfulness, honesty, love as opposed to just having sex. All of it. We’ve worked really hard. I don’t know how I’m going to tell her this.] _

Sidney enters Trafalger house and yells for Charlotte.

“I’m out here. On the patio.”

Sidney turns the corner to head out the door to the patio and he is struck by what he sees. Charlotte is sitting at the patio table with her tea, reading the newspaper. She has her hand resting on her tummy. Sidney just stands and watches for a minute.  _ [She’s so beautiful. And look how happy she is. She is such a good Mom. Already.] _

_ [I have to get this over with. It’s too scary to handle it all on my own.] _

Sidney walks out on the patio and leans over to kiss Charlotte. _ [She’s all smiles talking about how relaxed she is and how much she loves me. How she’s so glad we decided to take this last trip. She loves Sanditon…] _

“Charlotte, we need to talk.”

“Ooookay. What is it?”

Sidney leans forward in the chair and takes Charlotte’s hands and tells her the truth. The truth as he knows it.

_ [She always says she wants the truth! Meanwhile, I watch the color in her face fade to pale white. The smile on her face goes away and once she gets over the shock of this I believe I’ll see more sorrow and crying from her than I’ve seen in a long, long time. _

_ I’m breaking her heart.  _

_ I screwed up.  _

_ I don’t deserve her.] _

“I’m so sorry, Charlotte.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. "The Silent Cry"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is now responding to the news about there possibly being another baby. She's having Sidney's first baby. There is to be no one else involved, yet, enter "Evil E" to take that joy away from her. Sidney very much questions the validity of his paternity and will most definitely be tested. Meanwhile, he's trying to hold his marriage and his wife, together. (He doesn't remember who he's married to. She'll be fine. She's MORE than capable to move on without him.) Sidney, you need to tell the truth and earn back her trust. You two are having your own baby soon.

Sidney is standing at the counter eating a sandwich and reading the newspaper. Charlotte is on the computer in the other room and is fuming. From Sidney’s blind side she slaps down a piece of paper right in the middle of his newspaper. He looks at Charlotte and sees she is PIIISSSSED! Just then Mary comes home.

“Hello? Anyone here?” 

“We are Mary but we’re stepping out. Is there something we can help you carry in? Anything you need help with?” Mary is now in the kitchen with them and sees clearly that something is wrong. She’s looking at both of them, from face to face and sees Charlotte is by far more readable than Sidney. 

"Is everything all right here?"

“Yes. Fine. Well, if you don’t need our help we’ll be stepping out but we’ll be back by 1:00.” Charlotte glares at Sidney and throws her eyes to the door to motion for Sidney to come. They both head out the door but not before Charlotte stops at the ½ bath by the front door and grabs the toilet paper.

Once outside Charlotte says, “I don’t want to yell at you in public, Sidney. (She is just livid!) Let’s head to the cove and you see if you can make sense of what I just gave you.” They start crossing the beach and Charlotte starts crying. Shortly thereafter they reach the cove and Charlotte gets right into it. “What does it say, Sidney?” Sidney recognizes a gestation chart like Charlotte uses.

“What does it say?”

“It says July 25th, 2020.”

“What does it say for conception date?”

“October 29th thru November 5th.” He looks up at Charlotte, dumbfounded.  _ [Oh, shiiiiit!] _

“Nothing gets by me, Sidney. I’ve told you that and you act like I’m stupid or something. I arrived November 1st. Is this a coincidence? Some obscure correlation?”

Now she’s getting spittin’ mad—Sidney is gearing up for her wrath.  _ [This isn’t going to be pretty. Oh, shiiiit!] _

“Was Eliza the woman you slept with the night before I arrived?”

“Yes.” 

Charlotte nods.  _ [Figured as much.] _

“Was she the woman you slept with after meeting me that first day?”

Sidney drops his head….”Yes.” 

_ [Of COURSE she was! SUCH(!) a Sidney move.] _

“Charlotte, I have to tell you. Now that I’ve seen this, this is where I think I screwed up. (Sidney starts pacing.) Meeting you messed with my mind sooo much that day. You have no idea the impact you made on me that first day. It scared me. I told you this. I went out and got wasted that night. I told you that. I didn’t lie about ANY of that. I told you that originally. (He stops pacing.). Right? I loved you from the start. Well, I got wasted and the guys had to walk me home from the bar and everything. Then she showed up.”

Charlotte is practically tapping her foot and yawning as she’s hearing Sidney’s explanation. "So? Are you 18? No! You’ve been drinking your whole adult life! You’re 36 now. You’re going to claim you "don’t remember what happened" or you were "so fucked up"! Give ME a fucking break, Sidney!

“Was she the woman you slept with that whole WEEK? The whole week that happens to be her ideal conception week? (Sidney shifts his weight and stares at the ground.) Jesus Q. Christ, Sidney!

_ [How does she know about that? It wasn’t a whole week. It was like, 5 days or something.] _

Sidney looks up and Charlotte drills a hole right through the center of his forehead. Sidney just stands there not knowing what to say. [I know. I know. I told her one night. Just that first night. I lied. I deserve what’s coming next and he bows his head.] 

“Sidney Parker LOOK at me!

“Did you LIE to me, Sidney? Several times? THIS is what I meant about consequences for your behavior. Here we are a year later. A mere 365 days later (with sarcasm in her voice, she spouts off the numbers) and we find there’s a little YOU out there! Supposedly...I guess…

“Uuuugh, Sidney! You lied every time this subject comes up! You swear your love for me started that very first day. So in love you had no more relations with other women that entire 6 weeks. Right? I believed you. Why? Because I love you and I trust you and you would let me know otherwise."

“So you’ve not lied just once--it’s every time we discussed this because you’ve actually had a week with this woman. Every time you tell me this story of “love at first sight.” Over and over. Every time we discussed that you chose to flat out LIE! Didn’t you sweeaar to me you only slept with someone that one last night and it actually was a week? Are you telling me that’s it!? You could have conceived that supposed <air quotes> “last night”?  _ [It didn’t feel right. I should have known.] _

“I don’t know what to say. Why didn’t I hear from her when she was pregnant? In my defense, I didn’t lie to you about having sex that night. I always admitted to that. _[I just didn't say with whom.]_

_[Yes. After I had to berate you to get the truth.]_

“Sidney, did you LIIIIE to me repeatedly? Like, just now. It wasn’t one last night! It was a whole damn week! Now the tears are starting to fall, free flowing down her cheeks. ‘ANSWER ME!’ she snaps! This is my worst nightmare waking me up again! 

Charlotte breaks down and he reaches to comfort her.

“YOU stay away from me! (She dodges.) Are you crazy? MY choice on that. Not yours. Do you think I even want you NEAR me right now? The baby is doing somersaults in my stomach right now, Sidney. We’re both upset. (She reaches out for Sidney’s hand and places it on her belly. Indeed the baby is kicking. More than he’s ever felt before. Charlotte looks up in his eyes and he looks down to her and starts getting tears in his eyes. She lifts his hand off and stares. OUR baby, Sidney. OURS! This is supposed to be your first child—shared with ME! Not HER!!”

“Charlotte, please…I feel terrible. This is as much a surprise to me as it is to you!”

She puts her hand up to stop him.

“Sidney, please. Stop! I’ve heard it. I just can’t go through it again. Here, I am feeling like a stark raving bitch again and here, you “think you screwed up” and might have had unprotected sex with your ex-fiance? Really? How about clueing your wife in on that small bit of information--over a year ago!”

“Charlotte, I’m sorry. I…”

Charlotte interrupts again and says, “Sorry for lying to me again? And again and again. (She pauses.) _[I know of your other trysts, Sidney Parker. When are you going to finally tell me the truth about that? The WHOLE truth!]_ You know, you say the same ex-ACT thing each time and so do Iiii. Why is that? What is it we say?”

“If I just would have come to you in the first place…”  _ [I’ve used up all my pardons. I know that.”]  _

“And I always say, just TELL THE TRUTH! I can deal with truthful, albeit DUMBASS, behavior!

“Finding out on my own Sidney is so heart crushing! It’s like you don’t respect me!! Again, what did you think? Did you think I wouldn’t find out the truth? If it doesn’t feel right I follow through. I persist! [But I didn't on this. Why? Denial? I trusted him?] You KNOW that!! WHYYYYY did you think you could hide another thing from me?”

Charlotte stands there staring at Sidney. She’s doing that silent crying again which she does when she’s so upset yet can’t express herself. Like she did on that New Year’s Eve when he asked about her bipolar. One drop at a time. Taking turns running down her cheeks. (Sidney knows now those are her helpless tears.) Like her bipolar. She can’t stop the cycling of the illness. _[She’s helpless in that regard and it scares her so much she does her “silent” cry sometimes, just to cope. That type of crying concerns me more than her outbursts.]_

Sidney comes to stand beside her and lean on the rock. Charlotte just stares. “Do you truly mean to tell me that you’ve slept with your ex fiancé and she bore your child and I’m supposed to just acCEPT that?” Charlotte breaks down into tears and Sidney goes to comfort her.

NO! You stay away from me! I don’t want you near me right now. Charlotte looks at Sidney and cries harder. “How could you do that, Sidney? And with Eliza, no less.”

“This is a continuation of what I said before, when all this first came up. You expect me to just ADAPT to your lifestyle choices that affect MY LIFE and my future--and now our family’s future!! I didn’t CHOOSE that lifestyle for myself, Sidney! I made wise choices! I was responsible! And here I am having to deal with your shit. Your bullshit behavior! Another ‘pat pat on the head, run along and deal with it, Charlotte’ moment! That’s not FAIR, Sidney! It’s incredibly unjust and I resent you for it immensely!!”

“I can’t HANDLE your shit, Sidney! I have enough going on! I’m just trying to get through my day. I have a baby inside me! I’m trying to stay healthy and give birth to a baby in 5 weeks! You’re asking too much of me! Can you see that?”

“Charlotte, I….” 

“I’m so pissed at you right now I really don’t CARE what you have to say! This betrays my trust in you, Sidney. Do you understand that? I took you at your word. I thought we worked through all this. ‘This’, meaning the lying, too.” (Charlotte is wobbly/shifting in the sand.)

Sidney puts his hands on her upper arms to hold her steady and talk face to face and she goes berserk. She’s twisting side to side and he holds her tighter worried she’ll fall. She starts hitting Sidney’s chest saying “Let go of me! Let. Go. Of. Me!” (Like a flashback?)  _ [OMG. I’ve seen this before. This comes out when she’s feeling really helpless or trapped…? I’m not her ex husband but she perceives me as him when she feels like this. Like in the hallway during another big fight about this same thing. Aww, shit. I hate this! I feel terrible!] _

“Charlotte, please listen to me!”

“No! I’m sick of taking your BULLSHIT! (Sidney is just holding her shoulders now. She’s mad but she’s letting him touch her.) Sick of your LIES by omission! Look at what’s happening! Couldn’t you at least have told me you’d slept with HER that night? And tell me this sooner? Think of all the work we did on this Sidney! She’s a significant partner, don’t you think?” At that Charlotte takes one last hard push to move him away.

“I’m sorry, Charlotte. I’m sorry. I’m just not, I’m not thinking straight. This is too much. It’s just too much. This sucks! I’m so sorry for this, Charlotte. For all of it.” He reaches out to hug her.

Charlotte puts up one finger. “You stay right there. First, you need to acknowledge that I brought up pregnancy in that huge fight we had and you poo-pooed me. You downplayed my concern in a patronizing manner. Didn’t you?”

Sidney looks down, “Yes. I did.”

“You made me feel GUILTY. Like I was such a bitch for bringing any of that stuff up. Didn’t you?”

“Yes. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Charlotte.” He opens his arms and walks forward to give her a hug.  _ [I had a feeling and a vision of this happening and you lied to me!] _

“Stop!” (Charlotte keeps her finger pointed at him.)  _ [Because if you come any closer I’m going to accept your hug and melt into your arms.] _

“Yes. I didn’t want to admit that could happen. As far as I knew birth control was always used; except I can’t confirm this. I was still in denial about all the damage I had done to others. I just wanted to be with you, Charlotte. I lied in order to be with you and I’m sorry.”

Charlotte is standing there. Breathing hard and piiisssed off!  _ [Well, at least THAT much is the truth. I am so MAD at him! Furious! I don’t know how to get out of here without killing him.  _ _ (I’m only half joking.) OMG! I’ve got to find a space to think!] _

Charlotte is now at that part of her arguing process where she just needs to THINK. She’s raged. Now she needs to think and resolve.

“Sidney, why don’t you go swimming?”

“Whaaat? Why? Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious. I need to think. You know how I am… I am so mad at you still that it doesn’t matter what more we say to each other. I’m pissed! We, as a family, are potentially screwed because of your past disrespectful behavior. I can’t look at you right now!

You need to go swimming and clear your mind and conscience before we talk any further. Either do that or I’m going back to the house. I need to think. I’ve raged. Now I need to think.”

Sidney takes one look in her face and realizes she’s serious. Having been in a couple of “disagreements” with Charlotte, he understands her need to process things. He takes off for the shoreline and swims, all the while having an internal dialogue:

I’m going to have to BEG for her forgiveness regarding all this anyway and if any of this turns out to be true with Eliza I will lose her. And I’ll be DAMNED if I ever let Eliza Campion take away the happiest part of my life!

Look at him. Such a “guy’s guy”. So damn dumb when it comes to sex. What is it my brothers say (and then bend over in hysterics) “Hard dick has no brain”? Well, if that ain’t the truth here! He’s ruined it. I’m not sure I can hold back on this. He better do some confessing or this is going nowhere fast. He doesn’t realize I’ve had more than one conversation with Eliza myself!

_ [Are you playing games yourself, Charlotte? Keeping those conversations with Eliza from him? Nooo, it’s not the same, right? (Right?) I want him to tell me about ALL the times he was with her. It’s up to him to be truthful. If he continues to lie then I will have to confront him. AGAIN! I hate being put in that situation. Why am I his moral “keeper”?] _

She’s the best human I know but for her to take this lying down is just wishful thinking on my part. Yes, her very first instinct is to fight. She’s the young tiger cub that will fight the attacker no matter what the size. (Big brothers.) With this pregnancy she has since become the lioness who will fight to the end to protect her family. I’m counting on that.

It was hope beyond reason that we could talk about this without major incident. _[Really, Sidney? This is Charlotte you’re talking about.]_ If I were to guess she feels like she has “already talked about this” during our worst fight ever—back in December of 2019. Just days before she forgave me and married me. But I lied. Straight to her face. That awful fight we had I was flat out lying to her and she suspected as much. She stood there in the cold and was being patient; waiting for me to become the man she was hoping I was. Instead I stood there and watched her fall apart because of it.

She’s already figured out about the week _[5 days—it was 5 days, not 7!]_ with Eliza. HOW does she know about that? She doesn’t know of the two other times I was with Eliza. Thank God! Leave it to her to figure out that week was the most likely time to conceive. Here I was, thinking I was so clever. I didn't know her yet. I underestimated her--still do,I think. Go figure…”most likely to conceive.”

Now Charlotte, I wasn’t with her yet! What does she expect? That I truthfully tell her about sleeping with my ex fiancé during that time? _[Yes! She was trying to HELP you with all of that! You’re an idiot! She was trying to help you identify what was going on in your head. You left out a HUGE part of that picture. No wonder she feels betrayed!]_

What was I thinking?  _ [You’ve had 8 months to set that straight, Sidney. You didn’t and this may well push her over the edge.] _ She carries your baby—do you want to lose them both?

I love her. I love that woman more than life itself and I can’t bear the thought of losing her. So I lied. As bassackwards as that is, I somehow thought if she didn’t know details of my past I would protect her and consequently save my ass. How ridiculous of me to be so self-serving and STUPID. I am truly a coward. And who am I to think I’d be able to hide anything from her? She’s blessed and/or cursed with intuition beyond measure.

I don’t know where this is going but it won’t be pretty. We have worked so hard on our marriage and I fucked us over. Just like that. Charlotte isn’t going to take this lying down.

I told her the last night I was with someone was the day I met her. Wrong. It was 5.5 weeks later. There were 5 days (not a week!) worth of sex initially with my old fiancé who truly, I despise-d. It was just a stroke to my ego and a chance at using her the way she had me. There was another tryst with Eliza. That same night Charlotte looked at me in the nightclub as I was leaving. I didn’t follow through with that woman but I made a call to Eliza. I told Charlotte more than once she changed my life that night. Yes. She did. But I changed all that right back by having Eliza show up at my door when summoned. It was at that point I knew I was sick. Truly sick in all facets of my life. That’s when Charlotte noticed my “death” and desperation.

There was one more time. If she knew that she’d be crushed. That time was her last week in Sanditon. The very same night I extended an invitation to her for dinner at my place and she turned me down. I suspect that was my childish way of getting back at Charlotte.  _ [Sidney, WHAT were you thinking? She knew nothing of the invite one way or the other. She didn’t care. She turned you down. Plain and simple.]  _ I had all but run out of time and had not made connection with her. I was a mess at that point. I certainly was not worthy of how she reached out to me with her magical kiss. She knew that was wrong. A bad move. She had made herself vulnerable to someone unworthy of her love. No wonder she ran away without thinking twice.

There she is Sidney. Waiting for you over there. She’s beautiful, pure of heart and she’s always authentic. She will let you know where you stand with her now. `

Sidney takes his swim and sure enough, it does what its always done for him. He does feel more calm and clearer thinking. He approaches Charlotte who now has made up her mind on things and is moving closer to that resolution she needs in arguments.

Sidney is pacing and running his hand through his wet curls and rubbing his stubble beard. Other hand is on his hip.

“Sidney, I can’t do this right now. The baby is much more precious than anything going on between us.”

Sidney looks at Charlotte and nods.

“I’m leaving tomorrow...to go home. But can I meet the baby before I leave? Can you arrange that?”

Sidney breaks down and crouches before her. “You can’t leave. Charlotte, please don’t leave me. You know what that does to me! (He takes her hands.) Please stay with me. I need your support. (Charlotte looks him straight in the eye and pulls her hands away.  **_[Burrrnn!_ ** **_]_** She’s incredibly pissed and is trying not to just lose it on him!)

Charlotte maintains eye contact and slowly nods “no”. (S-L-O-W nod back and forth. All drama. She isss pisssed!) Sidney crumbles.

Sidney sits down next to Charlotte, crying, and she hands him the roll of toilet paper. Sidney and Charlotte both smile and share a hushed giggle; the gesture is reminiscent of the night they got engaged. They smile sweetly to one another and Charlotte puts her arm around him and lays her head on his shoulder. “I love you sooo much, Sidney, but I can’t keep doing this.”

“I know. I’m sorry for lying...again.”

“I know you’re sorry but Sidney…” (He makes eye contact with her.) You need to know. I’m having a hard time generating forgiveness around all this. You better carefully consider if you’re harboring any more lies.”  _ [There’s something I know. Why won’t you come forward?] _

Sydney places his elbows on his knees. He lays his forehead down on his forearms and he cries, with such sorrow. His heart is breaking. Things were going so well.Through his tears he says, “This better not be true.”

“I think you should be asking yourself what are you going to DO if it IS true. Where do the baby and I fit in?

Charlotte rubs up and down his back and cries, too. Silently.

  
  
  



End file.
